Rains.. Rains..

Rains, Rains...
These rains carry with them many memories and times.
They have a way of entering your hearts
They thrill you and play with your thoughts
Drop per drop they symbolize and encapsulate the elixir of life.
They fall from the sky and unite on the earth.
They are precious they are dear.
They are transient they are immortal.

Rains, Rains...
Some drip as scented pearls from a girl's hair.
Some glisten as beads of sweat in passion.
Some trickle as salted rivulets of sorrow
Some remain untold and veiled behind silent eyes
Some relish, as drinks of pleasure from a lover's lips
While some are drunk as poison in anger, anguish and hurt

Rains, Rains...
These rains, they have a mind of their own
I am swept clean now, I stand exhausted, spent
The rains have brought me back to life
They are my repent, and they have let me absolve
A part of my past....

Rains.. Rains..

Loving You...

Tell me my darling,
How does it feel…
How does it feel when I hold your hand and walk with you letting you lead?
How does it feel when my stare lingers on you for just a little longer every time I see you?
How does it feel when I lightly brush my fingers across your arm while passing by?

Tell me my sweetheart,
How does it feel…
How does it feel when my lips tremble and my body becomes weak as you kiss me?
How does it feel when I give myself to you in the most vulnerable of times?
How does it feel when I dig my nails into your bare back while quivering in ecstasy?
How does it feel when we dance on the kitchen floor at the oddest hour?
How does it feel when I put my head on your heart?

Tell me beloved,
How does it feel…
How does it feel when I cry helplessly while tending to your wounds?
How does it feel when I put the first piece of food in your mouth before I start eating my dinner?
How does it feel when I caress your hair while you peacefully nap in my arms?

Tell me my life,
How does it feel to know that I love you?

Yes,
I am talking about LOVE
I am talking about the love that you feel inside
...The love that will make you cry
...The love that haunts you day and night


So sweety, tell me… how does it feel to know that I love you?

Exam Season.. ( Part#2 )

Seven Random Facts About the Author:

1. He loves to write (if you still haven't figured that out) :P

2. He is a kind of - Ambidextrous.

3. Half the time, He remains high on coffee.

4. He doesn't do Numbers. No math. No Counting. No Money.

5. He is very straightforward.

6. He loves, and doesn't think he will ever stop.

7. He is... Passionate.


here,

I tag: everyone who reads my blog :)

Update: These days the author of this blog remains high on sugar. His new home is called the library. His PC and Facebook are his best friends. He has lost all track of time and measures it with coffee cups consumed.

In one word: EXAMS!!!


Please forgive him for not being around.

Exam Season.. ( Part#1 )

Its exam time for college students across India, which means that all across the sub-continent young college students are complaining about the scheduling of their finals. It doesn't matter what sort of schedule you end up with, you WILL be dissatisfied with the placement of your exams. I keep hearing people saying, "This sucks. I have over a week between each of my exams. I wish I could just get them over with." Or, on the other side, "This sucks. All my exams are on consecutive days. I wish I got a break between them so I could study." Yes, the grass always seems greener on the other side.

While practically everyone I know was making one of those two arguments about why their particular exam schedule is worse than anyone else's, one of my friends came up with a truly original complaint: "I don't even care how much time I have between my exams. It's not like I'm going to study anyway. I just wish they wouldn't schedule them at the same time as the cricket world cup game." I'm glad to see at least one person still has his priorities straight.

I have noticed that the library becomes quite an interesting place when exam time comes around. You see people in the library you never expect to see. Some give you the shocks. It's like, “dude, you actually come here?” Sometimes I feel so bad for those people and I feel like asking them if they forgot their way home and accidently ended up in the library. But then again, there are always some people who totally disappear from the face of this earth. It's like they do not exist anymore. But you know they will appear from some corner once exams are over.

Anyway, coming back towards the library, it gets ridiculously full, to the point that it becomes impossible to find any place to sit and study. You'd think this would encourage people to stay home and study in their rooms instead, but it doesn't. "I can't study at home," is the average college student's cry. "It's too loud." And so, every semester, thousands of students migrate to the library like geese or pilgrims, whichever helps that simile make the most sense, in the hope of finding a quiet, unoccupied corner. God bless you, brave students of India.

Oh.. well I have come to the conclusion that having an exam tomorrow morning is no reason to avoid Facebook tonight. I mean, let's face it, the Facebook will still provide some fun moments and help you to study with a fresh mind..

that's all from the part 1 folks..
all the best!! :)

Regret..

A promise I was asked
And a promise I did make
It changed things a lot
And many decisions I was to take

Would I make the same promise?
Or will I refrain?
Will I do it the same and just the same
Do it all, All over again?


The struggles I do accept
And the pain I do agree
Its the price I paid
For my soul to breathe free

If love is the cost of freedom
Then so it shall be
No one shall rob it, Nor shall one protect
My freedom was my own
And mine alone to defend

Would I make the same choice?
Or will I refrain?
Will I do it the same and just the same
Do it all, All over again?


There were mistakes, there had to be
Success was sweet
But it was failure that taught
That the ones to forge a character
Are the falls not caught

I trusted and was betrayed
It led me to conflict - led me to strife
I loved and was burnt
It unknowingly shaped - the contours of my life

Would I make the same choice?
Or will I refrain?
Will I do it the same and just the same
Do it all, All over again?


I think I will, for it was worth it
For one smile of her eyes Or one kiss of her lips
I would happily take eternal agony
For a touch of her hair on my fingertips

I think I will, for it was worth it
For a fair lady once asked of a little boy
Promise me will you, That you will
"Listen to what your heart says
And have the courage to follow it"
And I had promised
"Yes, my lady - I will"

Lying to Myself..

Some things I know I have lied to myself – and this is one of them.

After swearing to destroy all of her things, I know I haven’t really discarded all ... somewhere hidden in an album lie, now yellowing photographs - still beautiful with a hint of those times – in an academic file alongside my notes – I am sure - lies buried - a birthday card – and amongst the modest treasures of my wallet is a guitar pick – that still fancies her touch. ..

Masked cleverly in my words, somewhere lie - subtle references - to memories only one reader can relate...... In empty corridors of a dilapidated structure, there still can be heard - echoes of her laughter and although, now abandoned – there still flows a river - now mourning with salted water.

In the waking hours of some nights, the bed still longs her warmth. And the still air – now devoid of her scent – feels like a vacuum mocking my heart.

On some things I know, I have lied to myself and this is one of them ...... Oh! How I wish there were words that could describe – How much I miss her on some days ....

Flashed from the Past....

A lazy morning, a sky refusing to light up, a vista of clouds hanging low and grey, a wind caressed with moisture ........ and I... think of you.

I remember the evening we spent together in our favorite restaurant. My glance as it traced your silhouette opposite me. The glint of evening sun-rays on those rose-red lips. I remember being intoxicated - in part by wine and in part by your beauty.

There are memories one does not divulge easily. This is one of them. But there is a dream more real than memory - remembered not in your mind - but etched in your body. And this is one of them.

My fingers remember the touch of your skin, the strength of that warmth as I held you in a slow still dance. My will still longs the challenge in your smile. Never since has a woman, so tested my heart.

I have fought long and hard and learnt - there are some things you can not erase despite try.

Some things there are - not remembered in your mind.

Speaking with Reflection....

I washed my face and looked up
Whats worrying you I asked ??
But, you already know - said the reflection
Its been long since I have heard you speak
Speak please and help me now.

Questions - it said - I have questions on my mind
I braced myself and gave a nod

How long since we've seen home?
How long since you last laughed ?
Time has flown fast
And the shadows of worry
Have faded the ambers of your heart.

You are tied now
Tied with chains of responsibilities
You have travelled far and are walking still
But the journey has long stopped

Where is the spark that once shone these eyes
Where is the hope that eclipsed all in flight
Where is the boy - bright and fiery
Sure as an arrow on its mark

I know all that needs to be done
And I know all that you must
But you can not go further on this path
Green pastures and certain meals
Are not for the wolves at heart

Act now and change the course
Or life will flow as it has flown
And we will yet speak once more
And many years would have passed
The journey will in deed draw to its end
And you will have only this mirror
Mourning the regrets of your past

The Moment of Truth...

This conversation we began
I know not where 'd we start
Threads of thought forked in-numerous
Broke down walls imposed
And we talked
Through evenings and nights and hours unheard
Through tears and anger and ecstasies untold

Until now that we stand in this net
And wherever I see
Are tracks of our footsteps
I can't imagine how I travelled alone
The footsteps are etched
As tough carved in stone

They reassure and yet terrify
For I fear the winds I once loved
Could erase our marks forever
Or that you might walk away
And leave my heart severed

We've morphed our likes
To suit one another
'til now they are so changed
Even wanting we can not avert

Alas my friend,
It is the moment of truth
And I have to ask,
Shall we trudge snow and sand
And climb and fall together

Or shall you now let go
And into this earth
Should I disappear ?

Life is like a Dream...!

The earth is soft and cool beneath..
I can feel the blades of grass..
Gently pressed under me..
Green, young and slightly moist..
Still.. Yet breathing..

And I see shifting shadows through closed lids..
Playing - capering - laughing..
As I nestle my head deeper in her lap..
Treasuring and preserving..
The warmth under my head..

I follow the act and listen to the shadows..
I can hear the merry and begin to smile..
A shy, scented drop awakens my skin..
And I open my eyes to hold her face..
Words elude and sounds fade off..
As I marvel a new meaning to beauty..

I drink with thirsty eyes..
The oval that is my world..
Circled lovingly in dark flowing hair..
Velvet like silk and soft as silence...
Coy and demure..

I drink with thirsty eyes..
The delicate curve of her neck..
Just within reach and yet not..
The contours, sensuous.. and tempting..
I nestle my head and smile back..

I see myself reflected..
In liquid pools of light..
See myself anew..
Alive and well..
Through her eyes..

I trace the exquisite lips..
Longing their flavor..
Craving through parch..
I want to lift myself..
But the warmth lets not..

Oh it is such a strife..
Painful yet nurturing..
An impish pleasure..
A sight divine..

I drink with thirsty eyes..
And I beg life..
If this is a dream..
Don't wake me up just yet!!

Life of a Look-Alike..!!!

This is a beautiful flower.
But this is not a rose.
She might pass for being a rose to some people.
From time to time, she might trick you into thinking that she is one.
She is beautiful but not the rose.
This is an important distinction to notice.
All her life she is pressured into being like a rose - longing to be the symbol of love, irresistible desire, and ephemeral beauty.
But she will never amount up to being one.
She is just not cut in the right places.
She will never be as beautiful or as precious as a rose.
Someone might pluck her off her plant thinking she is a rose but toss her as soon as he realizes she isn't one.
The curse of this flower is that they do not let her stay with her plant because she looks like a rose but they do not keep her with them either because she is not a rose.
So, she is neither her plant's nor his who plucks her.
She belongs to essentially no one.
Yet she continues to hope....

stupid flower!



-omi

I Dream....

I dream, I hope, I wish, I aspire, I want, I crave.
I dream about flowers... beautiful delicate flowers that could brighten up just about anyone’s day.
I dream about dim lights, old songs, and slow dancing. A time in which you could think about nothing but the one you are dancing with.
I dream about rose-colored glasses and bright smiles that linger on.
I dream about holding hands, tender touches and long walks down a quiet lane.
I dream about concerned eyes, intelligence and strength that keep you from losing your way.
I dream about fingers caressing my hair and the strength of that lovely girl whom i hug.
I dream about my city. I dream about the diverse faces accentuated with certain urgency.
I dream about Starbucks and long walks in downtown of D.C.
I dream about home.
I dream about God - about complete submission and satisfaction.
I dream about sharing… about sharing it all with you and not getting afraid of being judged.
I dream about poetic verses recounted late at night—intoxicating me with pain and pleasure.
I dream about one more kiss, one more cuddle, one more touch that arises out of nothing but CARE.

I dream. Do you?



P.S. : this is one of the best clicks!
Photography : Sumedh Sidhaye.
Model : Omkar Kukade ( :P )

Please don't think I was day-dreaming! I generally don't!! :)



-omi

just a random thought!!!

We can always find people who will look at this glass and say that it is half full and people who will say that it is half empty and that is how we have defined the two types of people. But are there really two types?

I have learned that the world is so much more complex and it belongs to people who look at it and say, What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass! Who's been stealing my water?

And people who will take their glass and pour water out of it into the half full or half empty glasses just to alley those who are dissatisfied with their glasses, and those who will start looking for someone who might be thirsty to give them their half-full or half-empty glass.

And then there are also people in the world who have a broken glass, or a glass that has been carelessly knocked over, and the people who have no glass at all.

I wish life was always about Half-Empty or Half-Full but we are so much more complex than that. For better or for worse, people around me always surprise me with the things they do and the way they look at the world, and I suppose that's what makes it interesting-- our constant desire to figure out the mysteries of the universe or the mysteries of our own selves.


-omi

Her Smile....

I absolutely, completely, totally despise her smile. Not because it is stupid or cheesy. In fact it is the most beautiful smile any beautiful face could possibly have. But I hate it. Whenever I think about it, it makes me angry. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. I beg you not to smile. You are killin’ me!

Whenever I see that smile, my heart melts. It doesn’t matter if I see it everyday, or after a couple of weeks or even after months, that smile just gets to me. That smile controls me. I was never able to say no to it. No matter how awful things are, no matter how horribly we fight with each other, all it takes is that smile to make me forget about all the wrongs. Somehow it makes everything in the world just right.

Somehow it makes me do all the things I do not want to do. Or it would be better to say that it makes me do things that I know I will regret but I do it anyway. And then I regret it. It is the subtle upward curving of the lips combined with a sparkle in her eyes that hypnotizes every inch of my body and my mesmerized soul completely submits to her. There are too many lies surrounding that smile but it always gets to me. I hate her smile.

Can you blame me?

hope He gives me a courage to tell her one day about it.. :)

-omi

A Moment....

It’s all in the moments, don’t you think? Those vulnerable moments when consciously or unconsciously we decide to open ourselves up. We decide to show how insane we are, how sensitive we can get and what wild desires we carefully bury in our hearts.

That moment is without doubt a very critical moment in any relationship...when tears emerge, wounds are cut open, and hands tremble (not to mention that lump in the throat!). Most of us are wise enough to not show the scars to everyone. We choose you because we think you are special. We choose you because we think you will kiss the pain away. We choose you because we think you are capable of hiding our sins and appreciate us for who we truly are.

I have been on both ends of the spectrum—being the quiet listener and the one with the lump in the throat.

The road parts in two opposite directions once the lump is subsided. You either destroy the little of a relationship you had with the talker or you make it stronger. I suppose it all comes down to listening. If a person listens he cares, if he cares he will definitely stick around. If someone can’t listen to you, no matter what he claims he could do, chances are it’s not worth it, don’t you think?

I want to listen. I try to listen. I have learned that there are times when I need to shut up and just listen—listen and not interrupt. Believe me, you won't be able to connect with someone (even if you spend day and night with them) the way you do in that one moment of confession, one moment with trembling hands and wet eyes—in that one moment of trust.

And it is almost always about that ONE moment… if it passes, it would not come back. If you are distracted, you wouldn’t hear it again. Sometimes, just missing that one moment keeps us at a distance from the person we love for the rest of our lives.

Are you listening?



-omi

Relationships...

Relationships don't work the way they do on television or the end of the movies. Throughout the movie we are wondering if they will or if they won’t and then they finally do and they are happy forever.

Please guys, give me a break.

Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with and the ones that get married, get divorced anyway and I am telling you right now that through all this stuff I have not become a cynic - I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and you know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care. Because I do, believe in it. Bottom line is that the couples who are truly right for each other go through the same crap that everybody else does but the difference is that they don't let it take them down. One of those two people would stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If its right and they are real lucky, one of them will say something.

I have always been sure about everything in my life. I was sure of what I wanted to do and who I wanted to be with. I had a plan for everything. I used to think that if I had a plan, things will eventually fall into place. But the truth is, you cannot plan for others, and others don’t necessarily fall into your plans either. Your partner will not always act the way you want him to, he might not do the things you expect him to, he/she might screw up once in a while and really push your limits. But love, as I have come to understand, is not about how much time and attention you give each other on a daily basis, but its about the decision of caring for the other no matter how you feel, and if there is anything I have learned, it is that when relationships are right, they are easy. Even when things are hard, they are easy.

At the end of the day, your heart knows exactly who and what it wants.


-omi