Idea of love!

We have preconceived notions of a person we think we'll love.

If someone would have painted a picture of him to her before she met him, it probably wouldn't have been too appealing to her. Not because he was lacking something, it's just that he didn't fit her profile at the time. He didn't fit her idea of a person she would ever love.

For so many years, she lived with the idea of a man - not really a man. She liked how it made her feel. It made her feel content and comforted - that idea of his. It was when she was at her best and he was his. He never really lived with him, she lived with all the thoughts she created in her head about him. All the time she had been seeing him, it was really the idea of his that she wanted to see. She didn't really love him, she loved what she imagined he was, what he was supposed to be. and suddenly she thought, did she love him?!
She loved him so much. Now, it isn't him she is letting go, it is that idea of him in her head, and that's what pains her.
The idea of him that she nurtured, and loved, and cherished is what she has to let go.

It's so terrifying but we all have to recognize at some point that we don't truly love anyone until we let go of the idea of what we are supposed to love - to let go of the person that exist only in our heads. Loving real human beings is hard, but that's the only love that lasts..

Madness...

Writing after a long time guys!!
Hope you like it!

She was desperate to find something, anything that would soothe her ache. She wanted to not feel the craziness of her heart. She wanted to forget and not want the things she couldn't have. She wanted to exchange her burned, scarred heart with a brand new one, and she was desperately hunting for the clean heart, for a fresh start.

When she met him, she knew. She knew it was the purest heart she could find, and she had to have it. She was so desperate to clean herself that she did not care if she dirtied him in the process. So the first opportunity she got, she pounced. She dug her nails in his skin, and ripped his chest out. And there it was, the most beautiful thing in the world, and she was about to have it. She was about to rid herself of all her crazy, and all the her madness. It was wonderful.

And yet, no matter what she did, she couldn't take it. He was smarter than she thought, he was better than she thought. She wanted a fix, and he wouldn't allow it. He actually loved her. It was almost cruel.

All she ever wanted was a man who would soothe her madness. That was the only way she knew. But he only burned it more, made her crazier. He was right: the cure was not to fix the crazy but to accept it. She wanted to forget. He made it okay for her to remember

Wish you a very Happy New Year!! God bless!

-omi

ती.. एक राजकन्या...

एक सुंदर रात्र... चंद्राळलेली..
तेव्हा दिसली ती..

ती.. एक राजकन्या...
हसतमुख.. चेहेऱ्यावर तेज..
पाहताक्षणीच आवडली..
डोळ्यातून अलगद काळजात उतरली..
पापण्यांच्या दारातून.. हलकेच..
देवाकडे एकच मागणं..
ती मला मिळू दे..
आणि तिचीही हीच इच्छा असू दे..

ती.. एक राजकन्या...
वातावरण भारून जातं तिच्या येण्यानी..
मातीचा सुगंध दरवळतो..
आभाळ निळाशार होतं..
आसमंत जादुई गुलाबी होतं...
खात्री आहे मला..
मी अशी व्यक्ती कधी बघितली नव्हती..

पुन्हा तीच इच्छा..
ती मला मिळू दे..
आणि तिचीही हीच इच्छा असू दे..

स्वप्नांचं एक घर बांधू..
आणि त्याच्या भिंती आपल्या प्रेमानीच रंगवू..
दिवस असतील प्रेमाचे..
रात्री असतील दवबिंदूसारख्या सुंदर..

असं खुलेल प्रेम जसा की एक चंद्र..
ताऱ्यांच्या मांदियाळीतला..

एकच मागणं..
मला ती मिळू दे..
आणि तिचीही हीच इच्छा असू दे..



love you dear.. a lot..


-omi

Just you...!!!

You are like my breaths to me
Everything revolves around you

If I think, I think about you
I am planning to worship you...

My nights search crazily for you
I toss and turn in turmoil

Its a strange relation with breaths
I will die if its broken...



PS : inspired from a Ghalib's poem

I Know..

And I know you want all of my attention.
I know that you have finally come to the point where it has become alright for me to spoon-feed you.
And I know that you have started to like hearing my voice.
And I know that you don't want me to think about anyone else but yourself.
And I know you have started to get frustrated when things that involve me don’t go your way.
And I know that now you want me to believe that you love me, and if I were to assume otherwise, you would get really furious or you might just get hurt.
And I know you want me to put my head on your lap and fall sleep expecting to wake up on your lap and not on the pillow no matter how many hours later that is.
And I know you like to pretend to be mad at me sometimes over little things just to see if I were to make it up to you and sweet talk you back into my arms.
I know that unlike before, now you completely expect me to love you insanely.
And I know that you are trying not to believe in all this bullshit.
And I know you are telling yourself that I am wrong.
And I know that you know that you are miserably failing at all of this convincing.

I know.
But there is one thing you don’t know – that I have been ready to do all of that for a long time now.
I had been waiting for you to put your act together and meet me halfway.
But now you know.

I am glad we are on the same page.

Now do me a favor and never forget that.

try to understand men!!

especially for girls..

Once in a while, you get lucky and come across someone who would take you out for dinner, like other men would, but then when you think that you are done and its time to go home, you'd realize that he wants to be with you a little while longer - he wants to take you somewhere else. Coffee? Drinks? A walk? Anywhere. As far as he gets to spend time with you.

Once in a while you get lucky, and you sit in the company of a man for the whole night with a cup of hot chocolate in your hands, and a charming smile on your face. You sit on the terrace with the most beautiful view of the city, which would capture your attention any day but not tonight. Your eyes are too fixed on his.

Once in a while you get lucky, and you fall asleep in his arms while talking - sharing all the crazy theories about life you cooked up when you were a kid while feeling the warmth of his chest on your face and letting yourself go a little bit.

And once in a while, if you are really lucky, you'd find yourself waking up in his arms - with him holding you dearly.

एक सांगू? ऐकशील??

एक सांगू? ऐकशील??
तू ना... मला खूप आवडतेस...
थोडी चंचल.. थोडी गुमसुम....
कधी ना... खरंच वेडी वाटतेस...
एक सांगू? ऐकशील??
तू ना..मला खूप आवडतेस...

तसे आवडणारे बरेच आहेत..
पण तुझ्यात ना.. "वोह" बात है यार!
तू ना अगं.... कशी "आपली" वाटतेस...
एक सांगू? ऐकशील??
तू ना.. मला खूप आवडतेस...

हे तुझं पटकन गोष्टी विसरणं...
बोलता बोलता मधेच "जाऊ दे.. सोड..." असं म्हणणं...
मला कळतच नाही तुझं असं बोलणं..
का सांगत नाहीस मला??
माहित नाही कुठल्या धुंदीत असतेस...
एक सांगू? ऐकशील??
तू ना.. मला खूप आवडतेस...

गुजारिश..

है इख़्तियार में तेरे तू मौज्ज़ा कर दे...
वोह शख्स मेरा नहीं है उसे मेरा कर दे...
यह राह-गुज़र कहीं ख़तम ही नहीं होती ,
ज़रासी दूर तक रास्ता हरा भरा कर दे...
मै उस के शोर को देखू वोह मेरा सबर देखे... ,
मुझे चिराग़ बना दे उसे हवा कर दे....
अकेली शाम बहुत ही उदास करती है ,
किसी को भेज कोई मेरा हम-नवा कर दे...

Cycle of Replacement.. ( Part # 1 )

कभी कभी यूँही बैठे बैठे...
एक आम से दिन में दिल फिर से टूटता है
Just when you think you have forgotten all the sweet nothings, and the memories of the pretentious fights, it all comes back to you in a venue you least expect to serve as a reminder.

आज न-जाने बैठे बैठे वह यादें कहाँ से वापिस आ गयी ...
वह मसनूई घुस्सा, वोही बिना-वजह के नखरे..

पता नहीं कितने सालों से हर वक़्त उनसे अपने नखरे उठवाते रहना, उनसे उलटी सीधी फरमाइशे करते रहना... मेरा सबसे पसंदीदा मश्घला बन चुका था...
ज़रा ज़रा सी बात पर उनका नाराज़ हो कर चल पड़ना और फिर कुन-अखियों से देखना के वो पीछे आऐं या नहीं...

मेरा खियाल था यह बचपना वक़्त के साथ साथ ख़तम हो ही जायेगा…
पर शायद कुछ आदतें कभी आप का पीछा नहीं छोडती हैं…
वक़्त बदल जाता है…
आप बदल जाते हो…
पर कुछ चीज़ें बस सताती करती ही रहती हैं...
हमेशा...

यह सच है....cycle of replacement में मुहब्बत की replacement नहीं होती .

तू.. आणि पाऊस...

ह्या पावसाच्या सरी पण ना..
अगदी तुझ्यासारख्याच...

आल्या तर प्रसन्न वाटतं..
नाही आल्या तर खूप रुक्ष वाटतं..
कधी न सांगता येतात...
कधी कधी रोज भेटत राहतात...

कधी धुवांधार.. कधी शांत..
ह्या पावसाच्या सरी पण ना..
अगदी तुझ्यासारख्याच...

कधी आठवणीत.. कधी रात्रीच्या शांततेत..
ह्या पावसाच्या सरी पण ना..
अगदी तुझ्यासारख्याच...

प्रत्येक थेंबात जगण्याची नवीन आस..
ह्या पावसाच्या सरी पण ना..
अगदी तुझ्यासारख्याच...

Rains.. Rains..

Rains, Rains...
These rains carry with them many memories and times.
They have a way of entering your hearts
They thrill you and play with your thoughts
Drop per drop they symbolize and encapsulate the elixir of life.
They fall from the sky and unite on the earth.
They are precious they are dear.
They are transient they are immortal.

Rains, Rains...
Some drip as scented pearls from a girl's hair.
Some glisten as beads of sweat in passion.
Some trickle as salted rivulets of sorrow
Some remain untold and veiled behind silent eyes
Some relish, as drinks of pleasure from a lover's lips
While some are drunk as poison in anger, anguish and hurt

Rains, Rains...
These rains, they have a mind of their own
I am swept clean now, I stand exhausted, spent
The rains have brought me back to life
They are my repent, and they have let me absolve
A part of my past....

Rains.. Rains..

Flashed from the Past....

A lazy morning, a sky refusing to light up, a vista of clouds hanging low and grey, a wind caressed with moisture ........ and I... think of you.

I remember the evening we spent together in our favorite restaurant. My glance as it traced your silhouette opposite me. The glint of evening sun-rays on those rose-red lips. I remember being intoxicated - in part by wine and in part by your beauty.

There are memories one does not divulge easily. This is one of them. But there is a dream more real than memory - remembered not in your mind - but etched in your body. And this is one of them.

My fingers remember the touch of your skin, the strength of that warmth as I held you in a slow still dance. My will still longs the challenge in your smile. Never since has a woman, so tested my heart.

I have fought long and hard and learnt - there are some things you can not erase despite try.

Some things there are - not remembered in your mind.

The Moment of Truth...

This conversation we began
I know not where 'd we start
Threads of thought forked in-numerous
Broke down walls imposed
And we talked
Through evenings and nights and hours unheard
Through tears and anger and ecstasies untold

Until now that we stand in this net
And wherever I see
Are tracks of our footsteps
I can't imagine how I travelled alone
The footsteps are etched
As tough carved in stone

They reassure and yet terrify
For I fear the winds I once loved
Could erase our marks forever
Or that you might walk away
And leave my heart severed

We've morphed our likes
To suit one another
'til now they are so changed
Even wanting we can not avert

Alas my friend,
It is the moment of truth
And I have to ask,
Shall we trudge snow and sand
And climb and fall together

Or shall you now let go
And into this earth
Should I disappear ?