Quietly...

I keep pushing the limits and keep testing the boundaries which were so rigidly predefined in my mind before. Ever since this illusion has shattered, all avenues have opened to be explored. I've been feeling quite overwhelmed by the options I have before me.

It's interesting to learn for yourself that reality is what you make of it. You define for yourself what and who you accept to be real and to what extent. A forbidden thought, whispered by the smallest of voices in your head in the dead of the night, can be more real for you than the most glaring of truths screamed at you in blinding daylight. Reality is what you allow it to be. Reality is what you choose to accept it to be. And inasmuch, there are limitless opportunities before us.

The further I go from you, the closer I seem to keep you. You defy all logical sense. So I long since accepted you to be the exception to every rule I came up with. Rules which I needed to make sense of my life. Codes of behavior I take everyone else to task with. But you…you I have always let slip through the loopholes in every situation. You, I have always made excuses for. You….

..not because you needed it. Which really is the catch.

We tend to overlook things we shouldn't. And look over things we need not.
I spoke of gifts of hedonistic pleasure at one point in life. You gave me gifts far beyond any I received so far, and frankly, far beyond any I hope to ever receive again. Simply because I cannot imagine anyone else doing for me what you do "Quietly"

Thank you.

try to understand men!!

especially for girls..

Once in a while, you get lucky and come across someone who would take you out for dinner, like other men would, but then when you think that you are done and its time to go home, you'd realize that he wants to be with you a little while longer - he wants to take you somewhere else. Coffee? Drinks? A walk? Anywhere. As far as he gets to spend time with you.

Once in a while you get lucky, and you sit in the company of a man for the whole night with a cup of hot chocolate in your hands, and a charming smile on your face. You sit on the terrace with the most beautiful view of the city, which would capture your attention any day but not tonight. Your eyes are too fixed on his.

Once in a while you get lucky, and you fall asleep in his arms while talking - sharing all the crazy theories about life you cooked up when you were a kid while feeling the warmth of his chest on your face and letting yourself go a little bit.

And once in a while, if you are really lucky, you'd find yourself waking up in his arms - with him holding you dearly.

तुम्हे सचमुच खबर नही..

उसे मेरे हाल की खबर नही..
या दुआ में मेरे असर नही...?

मुझे दर-पेश धूप की मुसिबते...
मेरी राह में कोई शजर नही..

तेरे बाद कोई गुजरे यहाँसे...
मेरा दिल है.. कोई राह-गुजर नही..

जहां तेरी यादों को बहा सकूं..
इतना कोई समंदर नही..


miss you a lot..

एक सांगू? ऐकशील??

एक सांगू? ऐकशील??
तू ना... मला खूप आवडतेस...
थोडी चंचल.. थोडी गुमसुम....
कधी ना... खरंच वेडी वाटतेस...
एक सांगू? ऐकशील??
तू ना..मला खूप आवडतेस...

तसे आवडणारे बरेच आहेत..
पण तुझ्यात ना.. "वोह" बात है यार!
तू ना अगं.... कशी "आपली" वाटतेस...
एक सांगू? ऐकशील??
तू ना.. मला खूप आवडतेस...

हे तुझं पटकन गोष्टी विसरणं...
बोलता बोलता मधेच "जाऊ दे.. सोड..." असं म्हणणं...
मला कळतच नाही तुझं असं बोलणं..
का सांगत नाहीस मला??
माहित नाही कुठल्या धुंदीत असतेस...
एक सांगू? ऐकशील??
तू ना.. मला खूप आवडतेस...

Star-Light!!!

I was walking within my apartment complex the other day - the hour was late and most of the world around me had already retired. The designers of my residence were thoughtful enough to include a long walking trail on the perimeter of our premises. It is aesthetic and wild with many a turn - winding through gorgeous tall trees and surrounded by beautiful foliage. In the day it thrives in the balmy summer air and bird songs while during the night it cultivates a cool breeze and the gentle rustle of tree leaves. A singular section of this trail goes through an open grass land - and on this particular night the sky was so clear that the stars above took my breath away!!! It caused me to pause my walk and lie down - and to think and reflect ....

I was distracted initially and I had a million things on my mind mostly revolving around my career, responsibilities and personal life - but after a while those thoughts settled and I felt anew a sense of calm - and in the silence of that moment - there was no one and nothing between me and the stars. My breaths deepened and I felt myself intoxicated with awareness, for a brief period of time, we were breathing in complete harmony - me and the night around me.

I have always loved stars, back in school I had managed to save up enough pocket money to make my own telescope. This tube of lenses was my portal to the universe. Every week, I used to squeeze out some time - and away from the prying eyes of the world, I would escape to a tryst with these diamonds in the sky.

Stars have a unique way of inspiring and humbling the human mind. They have been for centuries. Thousands of years ago, people of almost every civilization looked at the heavens above - at the same very patterns we see today - and tried to connect these revolving lights with the events of their lives. Almost anyone who has held an audience with the stars quickly comes to realize how minuscule human life really is. The sheer scale of the universe is staggering and quite beyond the realms of the most gifted of imaginations. Science itself has been trying mightily to encapsulate and explain the entire universe through one unified theory - from ether to the big bang - from string theory to the membrane, each time we thought we've found the answers - we've discovered - that we couldn't be more wrong. Even though I am a deep rooted and honest to GOD student of science - I find this human urge - 'to explain everything around them' - quite amusing, futile and of late unnecessary.

What we do know is that a long time ago, our Sun and it surrounding planets evolved from the gasses and elements of this universe - first the star and then the planets around it ...... and eventually at one point - Life. Our comprehension and view of the universe has often times been too narrow and revolving only around the time the human species came into prominence on life upon Earth. Too often do we forget - that before us there was another species which ruled - that after us there still might be another creation to flourish and that before any of it we all really were just bubbles of elements boiling in hot lava.

The intervention of that night's silence and its probe into my mind made me realize that often times we choose to dwell solely upon human life - and only our lives at that. We surround ourselves with news and gossip - we argue and laugh amongst our friends - we fall in love and we fight - we hate and we fall in love all over again - we live and we die within and only within this tiny slice of time. While important, I find this view of life rather limited and sorely incomplete.

I believe - failing to realize how minute and inconsequential our existence is - prevents us from understanding the true significance of life - and from admiring the true beauty of creation. Right before my conversation with the stars - I was stuck in a hard place in my life, one where I was perpetually worried that I might live my entire existence without making any significant contribution to the world. The dialogue helped me put all of my anxiety into perspective.

The truth is we were all born out of this universe and when we die - we will all be part of this universe again. This concept was proven by Einstein but very few people choose to see it this way. There was a time in my life when I felt all living creatures were infinitely superior to dead things - like rocks and sand - where as the truth in fact is that the same elements that make all of our planets, make the rock and the same elements make us. We worry about causing the planet damage. Yes, its bad - and we shouldn't pollute - but its bad only for all life on earth - which - in the scheme of things is just a blip in the universe. I guess the point I am trying to drive home is that we make too much of ourselves. We have invested so much time and energy in trying to keep us alive for as long as possible - believing that a human life - rather a human's consciousness of life is the all essential thing to preserve - all the time failing to realize that it is the shortness and unpredictability of life that makes it so beautiful.

As I lay on that cold earth - in total peace - I felt for the first time as being one with the universe. All the problems and uncertainty of my life still remained - but I could clearly hear what the starlight had whispered to me - That millions of years from now, when I would be no more - when Earth might be no more - we will all still, be a part of this universe - and perhaps some day a small boy on the top of a roof on some remote planet will see me as a speck of light - and be delighted once again as I was - this beautiful night.

The only true meaning of life - I have come to believe is in enjoying our existence and feel - in each breath what our senses tell us. To find peace and happiness rooted in the certainty of our mortality and to enjoy this transient bijou we call life. We are after all - simply Starlight!!

मुझे अच्छा सा लगता है..

मुझे अच्छा सा लगता है
बहोत अच्छा सा लगता है
तुम्ही को देखते रहना
तुम्ही को चाहते रहना
तुम्ही को सोचते रहना
तुम्ही को सुनते रहना
मुझे अच्छा सा लगता है
बहोत अच्छा सा लगता है

बहोत गहरे ख्यालों में
जवाबों में सवालों में
मोहब्बत के कई हवालों में
तुम्हारा नाम आ जाना
मुझे अच्छा सा लगता है
बहोत अच्छा सा लगता है

तुम्हारे संग संग चलना
वफ़ा की आग में जलना
तुम्हें नाराज़ कर देना
कभी खुद रूठ भी जाना
मुझे अच्छा सा लगता है
बहोत अच्छा सा लगता है

कभी इकरार कर लेना
कभी इन्कार कर देना
कभी आँखों से कुछ कहना
कभी कह कर मुकर जाना
मुझे अच्छा सा लगता है
बहोत अच्छा सा लगता है

तुम्हारी बेरुखी पर भी
तुम्हारी आरज़ू करना
खुद अपने दिल की धड़कन से
तुम्हारी गुफ्तगू करना

मुझे अच्छा सा लगता है
बहोत अच्छा सा लगता है

Someone Up There is Very Happy for Them!

His eyes fluttered open as the sun rays welcomed him through the window. He wondered if they had left the curtain open. Half asleep he tried to see why the sun was shining right in his eyes. After fully opening his eyes, he realized that the curtains were drawn but a mischievous corner was letting the sun rays come in which happened to land right on his face. It was Sunday and he was not waking up so early. So, he got up, cursing underneath his breath he straightened the curtain and came back to bed. It was then when he saw her lying next to him. As always he couldn’t take his gaze off of her and couldn’t help but wonder how anyone could be as beautiful as she was and how in the world had such a beautiful woman landed on his bed, not only for one day but for an entire lifetime?!

Someone up there must have been very happy with her.

He grinned at the thought and snuggled with her to take a closer look. As he touched her she tossed in her sleep and like always she set the blanket straight on him putting her hand on his chest.

Her care had never stopped even when she was asleep. How could she know every time he was not in the blanket? He could never answer that question, but then again he could never answer a lot of the questions he had about her, like, how she always figured out that he was in trouble. He used to get her phone calls at the oddest times asking him if everything was ok. She would call him exactly at the time when he needed to talk to someone, but how in the world did she know when she had been miles away from him?

“I just get a bad feeling, honey, I can feel it inside”, was always her answer.

Instinctively, he kissed her forehead and took her in his arms like a little child. Well, that was what she was—a little child. A very spoilt one, for that matter.

She had been the wildest woman he ever met. She had the most outrageous ideas and was never afraid to break the rules. He had not seen a woman so bold and passionate. She was fiery in her attitude and he knew that the passion in her eyes attracted him to her in the first place. Over time, he realized that she had the kindest heart and she loved him deeply. However, he was never able to tame her. He tried for a while but it didn’t happen. She was not meant to be tamed. She was the go-getter and no one could stop her. He learned to live with it. But, he loved her with all his heart, and he loved her for her passion, for her love of life, for her wildness. She showed him a whole different world—her world. Her beautiful world that he had become a part of. He had never regretted anything about his life. He knew she was the one when he had proposed her and he knew she was his destiny the day they got married.

In each and every one of us there is a longing to be understood by someone who really cares. When a person is understood, he or she can put up with almost anything in the world.

She understood him. She understood him more than anyone else and the realization made him want to break down and cry. Just how many people could say this years after their marriage? Both of them had been really lucky. He knew he was just… blessed.

He tilted his head and looked at her again. She was peaceful with her lips almost curling up in a smile, her ravishing long hair covering half of her face. Anyone seeing her angelic face peacefully sleeping could have never guessed that the night before in her pajamas, she was dancing hysterically on some random hip hop beats. She was laughing and dancing all over him.

“I want to parttttyyyy”, she said with her arms in the air.

“Sweety, I have told you, you can go out with your friends on weekends”, he had said without taking his eyes off the book he was reading.

“No, not that kind of party”, she replied making a face. “I want to party with you, just the two of us, you know”. She put her head on his lap distracting him from his reading.

“You are soo boring Mr.’, she complained snatching the book from him.

“What do you want me to do?”

“I want you to kiss me”, she said seriously.

She has always been bold like that.

Only a woman can make a man come to his knees and leave him breathless.

For him that woman has been her. He smiled and leaned forward to kiss her, but she pulled back.

"Now what???"

“If you think this is so easy, you are oh-so wrong! You want it, you have to come and get it,” she said grinning and ran off the bed.

The next half hour was spent chasing her throughout the house and he had only been able to catch her after she was tired of running and gave in to him, and that was how they both landed on the bed where she was still sleeping.

She just had too much energy, like a little kid who would only sleep when he is utterly exhausted. She was a full time job for him.

His mind fully awake then, he decided there was no point in lying down on the bed. He was awake and it was time for him to wake her up too. He decided the same tactic he used every time—kiss her lips. She didn’t wake up but he could see a little smile curling her lips.
He brushed her hair with his hands. Touched her eyes lightly with his fingers, whispered in her ears asking her to wake up but she didn’t move. However her face expression clearly told him that she didn’t want to wake up just yet. He tossed her body straight in an attempt to wake her up. After some more teasing here and there, he was still unable to get her attention. Finally he gave up and said loudly.

“Hey woman, wake up, your man needs breakfast.”

“He can go and make himself some,’ was the grumpy reply.

“You know I am not going to cook, after all these years you should know that.”

“ummmm…. Nooo.. mee sleepy…. You sleepy”, she groaned never opening her eyes.

“Ok I am getting up then and leaving you alone in the bed,” he knew she hated when he would leave her sleeping like that.

“No”, was a simple reply.

“Oh yeah? Well I am outta here.”

He decided to get up when she pulled herself on top of him, snuggling her head in his neck.

“Who is getting up now?”

He was going to have her way this time too and he knew that. Besides, her touch was so addicting, he didn’t feel like letting go.

Giving up, he wrapped his arms around her;

this time surely someone up there was very happy with him.

Gift yourself a Quiet Moment...

Here's a gift you may not have expected. It is a gift for you to give yourself. Sometimes in your day to day life, try to turn off all the noises you can around you and give yourself some "quiet time". In the silence, let yourself think about something. Or if possible... Think about nothing.

Most of us have so few moments like that in our lives. There are noises everywhere. There are times when we can't even escape. Television and radio are probably the worst culprits. They are very seductive. It's so tempting for some people to turn on the television set or the radio when they first walk into a room or get in the car....To fill any space with noise. It is even true with myself. I cannot help but turn on music as soon as I walk in my room. Whenever I am walking alone, I have my wiped screaming in my ears. I wonder what I or people similar to me are afraid might happen in the silence. Some of us must have forgotten how nourishing silence can be. We don't give us the opportunity to take benefit feelings that silence has to offer.

The kind of solitude goes by many names. It may be called "meditation" or "deep relaxation" or just "downtime". In some circles it may even be criticized as "daydreaming". Whatever its called, it is a time away from outside stimulation, during which inner turbulence can settle, and we have a chance to become more familiar with ourselves.

How many times have you noticed that its the little quiet moment in the midst of life that seems to give the rest the extra-special meaning??? How many times have we tried to understand that silence speaks in the language that the heart, soul and mind can fully understand?? How many times have we realized that silence can be holy?

So, give yourself a gift today.....

Men are from Earth and Women too

Ok, I am no advice columnist, neither a psychologist nor specialized in any way in either men’s or women's psychology.
I am just another man who has his opinions.

They say, men and women always end up on the opposite ends.
Women complain about how insensitive and "gross" and "lame" men are and men whine about the cry-babies women can turn into.
Granted, there are differences but we have to learn to live with them, right?

Lets start with relationships.
Men are committed. Period.
If a man is committed to a woman once probably he will remain committed to the "same woman" for the rest of his life. But the problem is that women don’t really know when the man is really committed. Sometimes women "think" men are serious about the relationship but they are not and then they "cheat" on the women.

folks, see... its all about perception!!

Ok, now consider this:
When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girl-friends, ( not girlfrnds, ideally :P ) and she will write a poem titled.. ummm...yeah, something like - "All Men Are Idiots".
Then she will get on with her life.

A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I’ll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you’re a total floozy. But I want you to know there’s always a chance for us".

men will always be men.. why the hell we feel "Unsecured"; we don't know..

Another thing women need to understand and tolerate is that men are big kids ( Com’ on guys, accept it! we actually are. ) Deep down, all men are big ol' boys. ( This explains why so many grown men wear baseball caps. ) Their interests are boy-like, too. Take his obsession with sports. Most men love anything that involves kicking something, throwing things or punching other men. ( Yeah, the punching other men n saying "wassup buddy??" IS very "manly"!!! ) Sounds like 10-year-olds on the playground to you? Does to most of the women.

For girls, women:
When you put three or more men together, they bond by yelling at the TV and being idiots to each other. Regressing into childlike behavior isn't just a means of amusing themselves — it's their way of escaping real-life pressures and feeling accepted as they are. There's no point in denying guys time to release their juvenile side. And hey, at least they're doing it during boys' night out and not in front of your friends or family!

Another thing I have learnt from my day to day life is that men don’t take hints. ( Men are mad.. take it from me.. If a girl likes a guy, guy will never get to know about her feelings.. he will always think that the "Friendship" button is ON. ) Whether its his friend, wife, girlfriend or sister, he just doesn’t.

I think it is because when men are with other men, they don't tiptoe around each other and drop subtle suggestions. That's because hints don't register with guys.

Women pride themselves on being able to know intuitively what their friends, husbands and kids are thinking, but men have no interest in reading minds.

Strategy learnt from men: "If you don't ask, you don't get." Pretty simple! :P

In relationships, A woman doesn't expect a guy to know exactly what she wants — and whenever she does, she is "surely" disappointed. If, for example, a woman wants him to take her out for her birthday, she is wasting her time dropping hints like "Guess what day Friday is? It's someone's birthday!" If she does that, she'll be 80 before he takes her out. And while she is at it, don't hint about wanting a gift that's shiny and lasts forever: To him, she has just described a set of Emeril pots and pans.
But, if she do asks, clearly, chances are she will get it.
Be it an expensive ring or a loving kiss or a warm hug, she should not hesitate to ask them for it.

Coming down to a more domestic level, women should all know that men don’t do their laundry until they are out of clean clothes. If this happens before then that means someone else is doing their laundry for them.
Sometimes, their dirty laundry even comes in several categories:
1. Looks fine/smells fine,
2. Looks fine/smells bad,
3. Looks dirty/smells fine.

Unless you intend to wash it, do not try to disrupt piles organized in this manner.

A couple more things to keep in mind:
For girls, women:
1. Don’t make him hold your purse in the mall. It does something to his manhood. Just spare him the misery.
2. Shopping is not fascinating. Ever.
3. If he has to sit through :
“Notting Hill ( 1999, Starring : Julia Roberts, Hugh Grants, Genre : Comedy | Romance )”,
you have to sit through :
“Die Hard((Series) Starring : Bruce Willis, Genre : Action | Crime | Thriller )" .
4. If you truly want honesty, don’t ask questions you don’t really want them answer to.
5. He was not looking at that other girl. Well, okay… maybe a little. Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you never looked at another guy…
6. Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny. Seriously.
7. Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (i.e.: Microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time.
8. But in the end, remember that men are human. We all are. We are unique and we have our own individuality. You will not go anywhere in understanding someone if you keep on putting them in one stereotypical category or another.

Good luck Ladies! :)

गुजारिश..

है इख़्तियार में तेरे तू मौज्ज़ा कर दे...
वोह शख्स मेरा नहीं है उसे मेरा कर दे...
यह राह-गुज़र कहीं ख़तम ही नहीं होती ,
ज़रासी दूर तक रास्ता हरा भरा कर दे...
मै उस के शोर को देखू वोह मेरा सबर देखे... ,
मुझे चिराग़ बना दे उसे हवा कर दे....
अकेली शाम बहुत ही उदास करती है ,
किसी को भेज कोई मेरा हम-नवा कर दे...

Cycle of Replacement.. ( Part # 1 )

कभी कभी यूँही बैठे बैठे...
एक आम से दिन में दिल फिर से टूटता है
Just when you think you have forgotten all the sweet nothings, and the memories of the pretentious fights, it all comes back to you in a venue you least expect to serve as a reminder.

आज न-जाने बैठे बैठे वह यादें कहाँ से वापिस आ गयी ...
वह मसनूई घुस्सा, वोही बिना-वजह के नखरे..

पता नहीं कितने सालों से हर वक़्त उनसे अपने नखरे उठवाते रहना, उनसे उलटी सीधी फरमाइशे करते रहना... मेरा सबसे पसंदीदा मश्घला बन चुका था...
ज़रा ज़रा सी बात पर उनका नाराज़ हो कर चल पड़ना और फिर कुन-अखियों से देखना के वो पीछे आऐं या नहीं...

मेरा खियाल था यह बचपना वक़्त के साथ साथ ख़तम हो ही जायेगा…
पर शायद कुछ आदतें कभी आप का पीछा नहीं छोडती हैं…
वक़्त बदल जाता है…
आप बदल जाते हो…
पर कुछ चीज़ें बस सताती करती ही रहती हैं...
हमेशा...

यह सच है....cycle of replacement में मुहब्बत की replacement नहीं होती .

तू.. आणि पाऊस...

ह्या पावसाच्या सरी पण ना..
अगदी तुझ्यासारख्याच...

आल्या तर प्रसन्न वाटतं..
नाही आल्या तर खूप रुक्ष वाटतं..
कधी न सांगता येतात...
कधी कधी रोज भेटत राहतात...

कधी धुवांधार.. कधी शांत..
ह्या पावसाच्या सरी पण ना..
अगदी तुझ्यासारख्याच...

कधी आठवणीत.. कधी रात्रीच्या शांततेत..
ह्या पावसाच्या सरी पण ना..
अगदी तुझ्यासारख्याच...

प्रत्येक थेंबात जगण्याची नवीन आस..
ह्या पावसाच्या सरी पण ना..
अगदी तुझ्यासारख्याच...