Suddenly, all I can think about are all the things I don't know about her. All the things I never had the chance to learn. I don't know if her feet are ticklish or how long her toes are. I don't know what nightmares she had as a child. I don't know which stars are her favorites, what shapes she sees in the clouds. I have no clue what she writes in her journal or if she writes at all. I don't know what she is truly afraid of or what memories she holds closest.
I don't know how she holds her pen or if she shakes her leg when she is waiting on something. I don't know how her breath smells like . I don't know how her hair feels like or if her hands remain hot or cold. I do not know. And I don't have enough time now, never enough time. I want to be in the every moment with her, but my mind explodes with grief for all that I am missing. All that I will miss. All that we have wasted.
Perhaps... you can afford to wait. Perhaps... for you there's a tomorrow. Perhaps... you have many many tomorrow's to come that you can let the todays slide and have so much time that you can waste. But for some of us there's only today. And the truth is, you never really know.
-omi
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