Losing You...

They met at the crossroads tonight in the dark.
( okay, lemme clear.. When I say crossroads, I do not mean it metaphorically - there are two paths that cross each other by the library on campus and lead to four very different directions. )
They met because she had to return a few of his things she had borrowed earlier. It was a short but pleasant meeting. She thanked him for letting her use his material and he smiled.

They made small talk for a few minutes before she said good bye and turned around, and he turned to walk in the opposite direction to her. As she turned around, suddenly it came to her mind - that she didn't think of hugging him. She forgot to hug him! He was the guy she would hug every time she greet and every time she leave but she didn't think of hugging him - not because it was awkward but perhaps because there was no need. There was no emotional connection to hug ( anymore ). He once was the man who couldn't keep his hands off her - he was the same man who couldn't have enough of her smile. An year ago, the thought would have been painful, perhaps to both of them. But not now, not anymore. She was just surprised that it didn't occur to her to give him a hug. The last time she met him here, she turned around three times while walking back to see if he turned back and waved. This time as she was walking, she didn't turn. This time, there was no need to look over her shoulder.


I realize that we don't lose someone all of a sudden. When we decide to part ways or when someone break our heart or when we break up a relationship, we dont end everything suddenly. We let go off a person each day at a time. We let him/her go in parts. First goes the kisses, then goes the constant checking of facebook and text messages. The phone calls fade away. With time you begin to find it hard to picture the color of their eyes or recall the scent of their bodies. Then perhaps, the hugs. The smile loses its charm and the touch loses its warmth. The words turn from bitter to cynical to just plain ordinary and before you know it, that face - that face becomes just another face in the crowd. That is how you lose a person, one thing at a time.


As she walked down the long path in the dark, she didn't look back, as she was pretty sure he didn't either. He is loved by some woman now, and her heart - her heart yearns for another. It was good, as long as it lasted. She smiled at the thought.


-omi