College 'kids' can be very creative especially when they get some time on their hand which happens once in a while but we always make good use of it.
I say college “kids” because I really don’t think there is much of a difference between a college going student and a kindergarten child when it comes to the creative ability to act totally absurd (but that is a story for another time)
Right now .. lets just stick to the relationship status(es).
The other day I was sitting alone supposedly doing project work ( and the Facebook window (tab) was open! ) when one of my friend (lets name him "1") rang me up and put in the conference call.. saying..
1: "Guys.. Its serious...
Me: "what happened???"
2: "you okay??"
1: "yeah.. yeah.. nothing of that type."
Me: "then??"
1: "I am not able to finish up my part of project work due to this Facebook!"
The other friend ("2") asked..
2: "why??"
1: "I just cant concentrate after i see various relationship status(es) of people!
Me: "Arrrrghh... Dude.. DO your part.. we need to submit the work tomorrow!"
2: "wait re.... haan, you say.. what did you see?"
1: "no no.. chuck that.. tell mw one thing....
2: "hmm..."
1: " Omi.. u there?
Me: "ya.. listening to your bakwaas"
1: "haan.. then what does Facebook say if you try and make a 'three-way relationship'?”
Me: "huh?????"
2: (immediately replies): “Wanna give it a try?”
Me: "lol..."
1: Wow, it really says that?
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I hope you got the joke there and no further explanation is required in this matter. I don’t quite know why, but somehow we ended up spending the rest of the afternoon coming up with various facebook relationship statuses. The list goes something like this:
Single
Sleeping Around
In a Relationship
In a Fight
On a Break
On the Rebound
Love-hate relationship
Trying out the other gender
Engaged
Married
About to Get Divorced
Divorced
Lonely
It's Complicated
Can't Talk About It Right Now
In an Open Relationship
In a Long-Distance 'Disaster'
Deciding Between Two People
Happily Cheating on My Partner
Trying Out the 'No Sex Thing'
Cyber Dating
Ugly
What is your relationship status?
(Perhaps we could add it to the list)
-omi
I am ugly. I am disfigured. I have multiple scars of all kinds. Late at night when I strip myself of clothes and look in the mirror, I see all sorts of scars. I have multiple cuts on my legs, a big bruise on my thigh, various burned marks on my upper arms, a few lashes on my back and countless cuts all over. I have a broken rib too that no one knows about. It funny how whenever I examine myself I find a new scar. There had been so many incidents... I can’t remember which one caused which scar. Sometimes I look at one and try to remember if it was the blade, or the belt. I don’t remember if it was a cigarette burn or an iron. The memories are blurred but the pain remains.
I cover myself, as much as I can. So that people don’t see these scars—the scars that don’t seem to fade away. Because when they see, they ask about them and I have to make up stories to tell them. And after a while I even forget which story I made up to go with what scar.
You wonder why I always keep my hair down? I am hiding the bit marks on my neck. That night, I remember he almost pulled my hair out of my head and the next morning he woke up and said, “I don’t remember what happened.”
I remember those nights when I’d run. I would run and hide under the closets, under beds, even under the house. I'd cover my ears while silently screaming my prayers. Sometimes I would get lucky and he would forget all about me. Other times he would find me then I’d be in more trouble. So it was an all or nothing sort of a risk I would take.
The problem is, I can hide some scars, but some, I just can’t. Every time I look at the mirror I see the cut mark on my forehead. I still don’t know what it was that he hit me with that night. I blacked out before I could find out.
And then I see those burnt marks on my hands. I still don’t understand why he put his cigarette on my hand. I was so young back then, what could I have possibly done to be punished like that.
I wanted to run away... I wanted to run away.. but I couldn’t. I was too small, and he was too big. He could scare anyone. I was too ashamed and too scared.
But I am ok now. I left eventually. He would have killed me if i had not have left. I am all better now. But I don’t really know how to get rid of these scars. They stay. Usually I ignore them and go on. That’s how it is. I cover them up. I ignore them. And when I need to know just how human I am, I touch them. I look at them. I remember. And if I remember enough, I cry. Then I ignore them again and go on trying to be happy.
note:
i just tried to pen down the emotions of faceless woman who gets beaten up almost everyday..
-omi
The magic has fled. Time forced itself to flow as it always did and the night turned towards morning's promise. She nearly fainted with exhaustion as her power drained the way it always did with the passing of midnight.
Someday she would find a way to hold onto it. There had to be a way to prevent the fading of the eldritch energy she wielded to keep her place safe. But tonight was another failed attempt.
Weary and heartbroken, she struggled to the bed and crawled into its soft comfort. For another day the fairy queen would fall into rejuvenating sleep. And as night turned to day in the midnight hour, she would attempt once more to cast the spells that would protect her heart.
-omi
वो ही रातोंकी तनहाई है अब तक..
तमन्ना का सफर जारी है अब तक...
Nights intoxicate me. These nights make me say things I regret.
They make me fall in love.
These evil nights. These nights scream and yell.
They inform me of what I don’t have.
They mock me.
They steal my heart. My heart bleeds. Pain encircles the body.
These nights kiss my soul while tearing my remains apart.
These nights strip me off my sanity as I love you viciously... As I fall and cry...
As my skin burns, my eyes are blood-spattered and my lips yearn for the kiss so eternal—for the love so pure.
These nights are sinful. These nights, I hate.
These nights I was never able to escape.
These nights of dismay.
These nights of haunting dreams.
These nights I worship...
These nights I love so passionately...
-omi
Why does it always rain on nights like this?
It is as if mother nature knows that I want to be somewhere else.
She taunts me with her rain - knowing my desire that if I were just light enough for her wind to carry me to my destination.
You win this time, dear nature, but tomorrow is a new day and I won't be stopped. There is a force carrying me there with much more intent than your pitiful breeze.
Oh rain, you will pass and my fire will still be burning.
-omi
"तुमने फिरसे बाल कटवा दिये?” he said with surprise and disappoint.
"हां.. देखो ना.. कितने प्यारे लाग रहे हैं ना...” I replied cheerfully swaying my head.
He rolled his eyes.
Ouch, this is going to be hard, I thought.
He was sitting on the sofa browsing TV and I stood in the doorway. I stepped towards the sofa and sat on the floor-- in front of him on my knees such that my face was in front of his. He pretended he didn’t notice. I smiled and came a little closer.
He looked way.
“जाओ ना.. तंग मत करो!” he said, annoyingly.
“एक बार ठीकसे देखो तो सही..” I said giving in.
He looked at me—a serious expression, a frowned brow and lips pressed together.
“You have to admit I look cute with short hair,” I added.
He smiled. You know the kind of smile that you don’t want but it comes out anyway.
“But it’s short” he finally replied.
“It’s not that short, it’s below my shoulders,” I wasn’t going to give in that quickly.
“Ok Mr., here is the deal. This haircut makes your lady happy and when she is happy, she might just make you a very happy man too… IF you know what I mean,” I said with a wink and a very mischievous smile while he tried NOT to smile.
“Ahem… In that case, I suppose I could admit that the bangs on your forehead are kind of sexy,” he said studying my face.
'YES! Now we are talkin’, I thought.
My lips curled into the winner’s smile.
“I look cute, right?”
“You are cute........... regardless, love you darling!” He concluded.
i just love such conversations! <3
-omi
बऱ्याचदा प्रश्न पडतो.. सुख म्हणजे नक्की काय?
मला विचारलंत... तर प्रत्येक क्षण जगण्यासारखा आहे! हा सुद्धा!!!
शुद्ध आणि पवित्र.. धमाल..
तू जेव्हा माझ्या शेजारी बसतेस ना.. काहीतरी नोट्स काढत.. त्या वेगळ्याच पद्धतीनी बसून.. तुझ्या स्टाईल नी.. नजर समोरच्या कागदावर.. मनात वेगळाच विचार.. 'साला हा प्रोब्लेम का सुटत नाहीये..' असं काहीतरी.. तुझं ते.. डोकं खाजवून आठवणं... पेन्सिल दातात धरून विचार करणं..
माझ्या टायपिंगचा आवाज ऐकून तुझ्या कपाळावर आलेली ती हलकी आठी..
मला हा क्षण सुद्धा खूप आवडतोय..
मी तुला distract न करण्याचा खूप प्रयत्न करतो मी.. पण तुझ्या चेहेऱ्यावरचे सतत बदलणारे भाव पाहून मी हरखून जातो.. तू जशी बसली आहेस..
I am just loving it...
हा क्षण कधी संपूच नये असं वाटत राहतं!
काही क्षण असतात.. प्रत्येकाच्या आयुष्यात... जे आयुष्याला एक चौकट देतात...
मला कधी कधी खूप आश्चर्य वाटतं आपल्याकडे बघून.. की या तरुण वयात सुद्धा आपण एकमेकांना इतकं छान समजून घेतो.. काळजी घेतो एकमेकांची.. एखाद्या आजी-आजोबांसारखी..
काही लोकं म्हणतात.. की म्हणे, तरुण जोडप्यांना कायम बोलायला हवं असतं.. सारखं काही ना काहीतरी करायला हवं असतं! तरुणांना शांत बसताच येत नाही..
पण खरं तर जेव्हा नातं प्रौढ होतं तेव्हा या गोष्टींची खरंच गरज भासत नाही..
आणि आपण दोघं त्याच रस्त्यावर आहोत.. प्रौढ नात्याच्या.. आणि इथे.. "वय doesn't matter!!!"
I like it!
माझं मनापासून प्रेम आहे तुझ्यावर.. आणि हे तसंच राहील.. आपण एकत्र राहिलो.. न राहिलो.. पुन्हा एकमेकांना बघितलं अथवा नाही बघितलं तरीही..
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काल मी हळूच कुशीवर वळलो..
तुला शांत झोप लागली की नाही हे बघायला..
मला खूप आवडतेस तू गाढ झोपलेली... शांत..
पण तू काल तशी नव्हतीस..
एक प्रकारची नाखुशी होती तुझ्या चेहेऱ्यावर!
गाढ झोपलेली असलीस तरी एक प्रकारची वेदना तुला जाणवत होती..
मला खूप काळजी वाटली तेव्हा.. एक रुखरुख लागली.. तुला गाढ शांत झोप लागली की नाही याची..
मला खूप hurt होतं तुला असं बघितलं की..
तुझ्या सगळ्या वेदना मला मिळाव्यात अशी मी मनोमन प्रार्थना करतो..
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असंच एकदा तू ही मला बघतेस.. माझ्या गाढ झोपेच्या वेळेस..
तुला ते जाणवतं की मी खरंच झोपलोय.. की दमलोय.. की कंटाळून डोळे मिटून घेतोय..
पण मी तुला खात्री देतो.. मी खरंच खूप सुखात आहे.. कारण माझ्याकडे "तू" आहेस!
मला खरंच तुझ्याकडून अजून काही नकोय!
कधी कधी वाटतं अशाच क्षणांचं का नाहीये संपूर्ण आयुष्य??
जग बदलतंय.. खूप वेगानी..
म्हणूनच कदाचित.. पण मला तुझ्याबरोबरचा प्रत्येक क्षण जपून ठेवायचा आहे!
कारण माझ्यासाठी हेच सुख आहे!
तू मला कपाळावर थोपटतेस.... आणि मला तशीच छान गाढ झोप लागते.. त्या क्षणीच!
दमलो म्हणून नाही.. शांत झालो.. समाधानी झालो म्हणून..
तू आसपास असलीस ना.. की असंच वाटतं.. शांत.. समाधानी..
पण आता झोपेन मी.. सुखात.. समाधानानी..
आणि माझ्या श्वासातले शब्द कळतील तुला.. तेवढं "mature" आहे आपलं नातं...
“I Love You”.
-omi
The worse mistake we make is leave something good in hopes that there is something better out there for us. And sadly, we make this mistake too often. The truth is, there is always something - someone - better out there for us. Someone who is more compatible, someone who is more beautiful, someone who would fit more into our lives. You can use all the logic in the world and calculate all the compatibilities, and you will see your perfect mate. But would that perfect mate "love" you? Would that perfect mate be near you? Or would that perfect mate will even be available? The answer is... "Perhaps" , but are you really willing to bet on that? Are you willing to set your small loving home on fire in hopes for a big mansion tomorrow which may or may not exist?
And I wish I could tell you to not make this mistakes, to learn from what I have seen. Because I know all too well that once you take that step there is no way of undoing it. But I won't tell you because I get it - I get it that we are selfish, we want it all and the most dangerous thing we want is "More". So I won't tell you not to make this mistake because it is something you know in your heart or you don't.
All I can tell you is that you will make this mistake and you will "surely" regret it.
-omi
Once upon a time there lived a pretty girl called Catherine. She always wore white clothes. One morning a terrible nightmare woke her up and she found herself lying in a dirty and dark jungle surrounded by rotten meat all around. The disgusting smell left her feeling nauseated. She tried to get up but her knees felt weak and her white clothes were full of mud. She just wanted to escape from all this dirty scene not wanting to know what was all this about and how she ended up there. She felt like crying but she had no tears left. She longed for her sweet pup, whose bright eyes used to make her forget all her worries. Crawling, she was trying to get away, she was pushing herself way too much believing that once she reaches where she wants to be, all these efforts will be worth it. And suddenly she saw it! The big brown rosewood door! Beautifully carved, it was a piece of art indeed! It looked very grand with all those shiny brass knobs. She was wondering what would be waiting for her on the other side? Will she be able to breathe clean, fresh air again or will it be worse than her present surrounding? Not knowing what to do, she stood there for a few hours. Then, with a lot of courage she decided to take the risk and softly turned the bass knob. And there it was! She closed her eyes as the sweet, cool breeze ran through her hair. She slightly opened her eyes to look at the bright yellow sunlight. Beautiful green fields with yellow flowers, birds chirping...it made her forget all her pain. She had successfully completed her journey to The Heaven finally!
-omi
"Just be yourself!!"
how many times in life have we heard this advice?
In a situation where you don't know how to react or simply lose the sanity and logic, somebody who doesn't know what else to do, tells you the ultimate magical words, 'be yourself'!
All so-called self-help books, magazines, cosmetics ads etc etc celebrate 'being yourself', where the irony is, all of these work exactly the opposite way...they tell you how to change your attitude, behaviour, appearance in order to get what you can't possibly get just by being yourself.
What do u mean by being urself? Sit on ur a** with a stubborn attitude of not changing ur screwed up opinions about something or someone?? or is it just a form of laziness not to accept ur own weaknesses and defficiencies, or rather...instead of acknowledging them and trying to work on 'em, just take it as "the way it is"?? So the stuff like self-improvement and growing up as a person, doesnt exist anymore?
I think its a rather misunderstood phrase, one meaning that could be extracted from it is not trying to be someone you are not. But then again, what about following your ideals in life? If somebody wants to be like Mother Teresa or Narayanmurthy, is it still advisable not to try to be someone you are not but you really want to be?
-omi
What is maturity after all? We hear people call someone mature/childish pretty often. So who defines what maturity is?
I think it is:
01.controlling (not supressing) your emotions
02.being able to prioritize things in life
03.knowing when to shut up and leave
04.knowing what are you doing and where you are going (most of the times)
04.ability to forgive
05.taking pleasure in giving sometimes rather than recieving all the time
06.ability to take a decision and stand by it
07.accepting failures and bouncing back
08.willingness to change something you don't like and to accept something you can't change
08.willingness to change your thoughts and not your basics (I donno whether to call them ethics or morals or principles or watever)
What do u think?
-omi
that was interesting!!!
really!
someone loves for what you are, appreciates the way you live your life and when your with that person, when the love blossoms, he/she expects you to change!!
but seriously, i'm confused, this is strange, people change themselves everyday, every moment, for someone else or something else because you want that someone or something, and when you change, you also change what you like and wat u want!!
and... again the cycle goes on.....
this is called as 'adjustment' or 'compromise'...
life is full of ironies....
-omi
Sometimes i feel that im a crazy concoction of multiple personalities....
i have extremely contrast views abt anything..depending on the state of mind....
i love to dream abt future but i also indulge in my past very often....
i donno which side weighs heavier.....
love to be socially active, meet ppl, also like loneliness...donno which is predominant.....
love to be alone with the nature, on the other hand love the fast life in the cities...
again who knows which is more interesting!!!
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life is full of so many choices..i fear i have only one life of limited time and im trying to experience everything in just one life...rather i want to!!
I am like a Gypsy in this endless world...
i'll go wherever it will take me....then do i expect stability??? wat is it anyways?? i dont believe anything is stable...if it looks like, its just the state of 'dynamic equilibrium', things changing on both sides makes u feel like stability...
-omi
He wanted to hear her speech at that big conference.
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But he was too ill to take the trip.
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He didn't let her kiss him cos of the bad viral fever.
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As she left, he blew a kiss at her and she threw a pillow back at him.
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his cell phone beeped..
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<1 New Message>
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'Muaaaaah. Now, sleep.'
-omi
कधी कधी... रुक्षपणाच बरा वाटतो!
कधी कधी... एखादा अंधारा कोपराच छान आपलासा वाटतो!
कधी कधी... रडायचं नसलं तरी डोळ्यातून अश्रू ओघळतात!
कधी कधी... काळजीपोटी आलेले शब्द सुद्धा सुयांसारखे बोचतात!
कधी कधी... स्वप्न भविष्यात मानगुटीवर भुतासारखी बसतात!
कधी कधी... सगळंच सोडून द्यावसं वाटतं!
कधी कधी... आयुष्यात यशापेक्षा खाचखळगेच जास्त आहेत असं वाटतं!
कधी कधी... कितीही काळजी घेतली तरीही पडावंच लागतं!
कधी कधी... आपण जसे आहोत तसे राहणं खूप तोट्याचं असतं!
कधी कधी... खूप खूप एकाकी रहावसं वाटतं!
कधी कधी...
-omi
Warning: This post may have little or no sense in it.
'What a way to nap!!!' - would have been the thought for those who happened to glance at me in the last few minutes. Being seated in a meditating posture with an empty notepad opened up would make anyone think so. ( as my earlier DP was :D )
I have been under alternating spells of indulgence and ignorance when it comes to my blog. My reduced online presence didnt help much to alleviate the cause. However, most of my chats/replies/statuses were filled with questions about this place.
And so, here am with an open notepad, trying to pen something other than a my so called Philosophies.
As it turns out, I feel that I have become a little rusty with respect to my writing-thought process. There are plenty of topics to write about, from the Obama Visit to the last Indian whitewash (blue wash) to OZs, from the disappointing quality of recent Marathi TV daily soaps to return of the famous TV series like KBC.
But then I realised that I had been staring at the empty notepad for so long with loads of passersby.
You know what they say, 'being busy' is better than 'pretending to be busy'; try it, its tough.
Since staring at the monitor is not considered to be a part of the 'busy' process, I start to type into the notepad.
Within seconds, the surrounding world fades away but for my Facebook which keeps giving notification pings all the time. And there came the shock when I looked at the trending topic - IS SEHWAG BETTER THAN SACHIN? ( Courtsey : India TV or something like that only! )
Shrugging off the diversion, I focus back into typing clear words. Minutes pass by, few paragraphs get written and I stop to review them. Gosh, I begin to realize that this is just another one of those endless 'offbeat-style' rambles... (BEEP)
-omi
ती दुपार फारच हळू उलगडत होती..
तो ती वेळ कशी जाईल याची वाट पाहत होता..
झगडत होता..
त्या कंटाळवाण्या वेळेशी..
संध्याकाळी "तिला" कुठं भेटायचं? ते यंदा सुट्टी घेऊन कुठे फिरायला जायचं..
हे सगळे विचार सर्रकन त्याच्या मनात येऊन गेले..
तरीही..
तो झगडतच राहिला..
त्या कंटाळवाण्या वेळेशी..
शेवटी तो दमला..
सोडून दिलं त्यानी..
लढणं..
आणि मग..
त्याला शांत झोप लागली!
;)
-omi
