Confused.. to the core...

आज सकाळी ऑफिसमध्ये गेलो तेव्हा तीच न्यूज flash होत होती..
मन बधीर झालं..
काय.. कोण.. काहीच कळेनासं झालं होतं..
साधारण पुढचा अर्धा तास कामात लक्षच लागलं नाही..
ऑफिसच्या बाल्कनी मध्ये कॉफी चा मग घेऊन उभा होतो..
मनात आलं.. की आयुष्य किती क्षणभंगूर आहे..
सकाळी घरून निघताना.. "येतो.." असं म्हणून गेलेले लोकं कधीच पुन्हा घरी परतणार नाहीत..?
A Wednesday पिक्चर आठवला..
आपण खूप लवकर used to होऊन जातो.. आता ही गोष्ट चांगली की वाईट हे काही मला कळत नाहीये..
आणि यंदा तर अतिरेक्यांना ही दोष देता येणार नाही..
आपल्या लोकांना फोन केला.. सगळे सुखरूप आहेत नं हे चेक केलं.. channel बदलून बदलून बघितलं की नक्की काय झालं.. थोड्याफार अफवा ऐकू आल्या.. "आपण" सुरक्षित आहोत नं? मग काय तर...
सकाळी पेपर मध्ये वाचू सगळं नीट..
इतका स्वार्थी झालोय मी??
आज सकाळी मी घरून निघालो तेव्हा नीलायम theatre पाशी traffic jam होतं..
एवढी लोकं थांबून बघतायत हे बघून मला वाटलं की एखादा accident झाला असेल.. किंवा शूटिंग चालू असेल...
आपल्याला कुठला आलाय वेळ???
सकाळी ९.३० वाजता कार्ड स्वाईप झालं पाहिजे.. या नादात मी पुढे गेलो..
आणि नंतर खरंच जाणवलं.. आईचा फोन आला.. पोचलास नं नीट? असं असं झालं म्हणे तुझ्या जायच्या रस्त्यावरच..
तेव्हा मी सुद्धा तुटक तुटक च बोललो आई शी.. काम महत्त्वाचं वाटलं मला तेव्हा...
आता कळतंय... मी खरंच खूप स्वार्थी वागलो.. रादर झालोय मी स्वार्थी.. स्वतःची आणि फक्त आपल्या लोकांचीच काळजी करावीशी वाटते मला हल्ली...
दुनिया गेली तेल लावत..
पण नंतर जेव्हा मी माझ्या ताई शी gtalk वरून बोललो तेव्हा खूप जास्त हेल्पलेस वाटलं...
ताई नी समजावायचा प्रयत्न केला.. मी ही समजून घ्यायचा प्रयत्न केला..
पण मी स्वार्थी झालोय हे नक्की..
पण मग स्वार्थी झालो तर मग मला हळहळ का वाटली??
डोकं सुन्न का झालं??
तो अर्धा तास मला युगासारखा वाटला??
घरी येताना त्याच रस्त्यावर २ मिनिट थांबावसं वाटलं.. पण नाही थांबलो..
घरी जायची ओढ लागली होती..
स्वार्थीपणा बोलवत होता..


I know this is a very confused post... but really, this is exactly what I am feeling.. right now..

Last Kiss...

It had just started to rain when he stopped his car outside her house. She hesitated to get out of the car as she didn't want to get wet. He watched her hair as she watched the drops of rain fall down the window. Their evening coffee date was over and she was trying to leave him.. again..

He hadn't seen her since they broke up. Three weeks and two days had passed.. But to him, they were "twenty three" days of different life.. She turned back at him and smiled.. They both smiled.

"Thanks for the coffee dear!" She said. Her eyes studied his face. Reading every emotion he tried to hide. He didn't want to say.. But he did..

"I still love you!"

Her eyes fell. She played with a button on her jacket. He watched her fingers; afraid to see the look on her face.

"I know you do!" She said "things are just.. better this way.."

He nodded.. Still watching her hand. She stopped playing with the button and put her fingers under his chin to raise his head. His heartbeat stopped when their eyes met. Her face was close to his. He was not sure who moved first.. But he didn't close his eyes until their lips came together.

The sound of rain faded and only thing he knew was the feeling of her lips against his. The same lips he had kissed a thousand times before, but this was something special. But it was over.

She opened the door and stepped into rain without a word.

It was their last kiss.

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara....

They say sometimes you have to be lost to find your way. I have stayed away from this place for a while now. And it has allowed me to look at *Panorama* from a distance, and I realized that in the thirst for being appreciated, I stopped doing on this site what I loved most - writing for the sake of writing itself. Writing became more a means to massage my ego than being happy. So in true spirit of the change, I am going to base this article on a completely unpretentious topic - a movie review!

'Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara' by Zoya Akhtar was a rather surprise delight. For the first time in a long while, I left the theatre feeling happy and light. Comedy films entertain you for a bit, but the laughter dies down later on. Drama films, when good, get you to think about serious issues, but the strain is unsustainable for long periods of time - and you soon tend to put it out of your mind and move on. But this film is different. More than laugh, it makes you smile. And by the end just delivers a simple message - as if saying - "Hey You!, Smile you idiot ( or sometimes - jerk! ) - you are alive and breathing, be happy for that" And truly celebrates the act of simply being alive. The jokes are practical and down to earth. The kind of fun you can encounter in real life when you are hanging out with friends. (There are many situations where we find that the jokes which we crack are much better than these.. but lets assume that they have a different style than ours.. )

The story is actually a snapshot of 3 lives for a week. Of three close friends meeting for a vacation. All of them are in some way occupied by their problems and baggages. But by the end of it, they realize that sometimes letting go is the best thing you can do to help yourself. The message is nuanced and I am not sure how well it might be received in main stream Indian audience. But the film is technically sound and should do very well none the less. (okay, i know you all know the theme.. but wanted to revise it.. ! :) )

The direction is simple, sometimes too simple but the photography is breath taking. The film aptly shows the coming of age for Bollywood and in some sense India itself. It has a global presence and theme to it. The shooting is on par with the best of the film industry. Larger than life when needed, it is still grounded enough to actually move you when intended. The music is exhilarating, fresh and alive in every beat. Guitar is to Spanish music what tabla is to Indian. And in this film, the songs are mostly guitar based. This gives them a simplicity and freshness that is the exact opposite of the audio palette of a semi-classical Indian song. The lyrics are beautiful and Javed Akhtar's poetry is sublime. I loved the cast, its youthful, uncomplicated and multinational. The kind of global citizens modern Indian youth would aspire to be. Hritik Roshan is subdued but ever present, he is too much of a star to be just a mere part of the story, Abhay Deol is pleasant and grows on you. But the real surprise is Farhan Akhtar - this is an actor who plays well within his own limits, and his rendition of the comedy is the most natural I have encountered on screen in a while. Katrina Kaif does her part well. It is impossible to ignore her when she is in the frame. And in some instances, you really do forget to follow the dialogues, the scenery and be simply in awe of how gorgeous she can be. (I can be biased.. ;) )

The location of Spain has clearly paid off. And for the song of "Senorita" - which is partly spanish, adds beautiful authenticity to the play. You have to give it up for the music director's guts to let a song be in a foreign language - and trust it entirely to the rhythm for the audience to love it. The Senorita song demonstrates aptly the sensuality and pleasure that is inherent in Spain and its singers. It is a remarkable contrast to the Indian culture. Where often times, in favor of seeking spirituality, pleasure is looked down upon. The Spanish culture on the other hand celebrates pleasures and the people for wanting it. These are a people who are not afraid to ask for extra helpings of ice cream, a more toungy kiss, an extra night with a lover and have a society that won't fault them for wanting it. It makes their poetry extremely sensual and its honest expression, endearingly human.

It complements the film beautifully in its message for asking people to celebrate life. Well - whats new about that ? True, we have heard these cliches for so long, we probably just tune them out by now. But there is something to it. A few years ago I became friends with a person who was genuinely happy. Not that there weren't any problems or sadness - but for the most part, this person was - happy. It got me thinking and I discovered the secret of happy people - they are truly able to live every moment. I know, I know ... what does that even mean - are we to stop our car every time we see a sunset or what .. Imagine that you are having a dinner party and are cooking for your friends. To indulge yourself, you are having a small cup of ice cream while cooking. And while chopping your veggies, you accidentally cut your finger. Most people will completely focus on the finger and the pain, its overwhelming and begs attention. The happy people I have found - can not only attend to the cut, but also savor the ice cream they were having in the first place. The thing is life seldom serves you ice creams on a plate with no distractions. And most of us when we think of happiness, want that unadulterated, undiluted and undisturbed experience of happiness. The trick is to savor a happy moment regardless of where it occurs. So if you enjoy rain, enjoy rain even when its because you have a flat tire and you are forced to stand on the road. And the people we find are most happy - are the people who are better at this. They don't lie to themselves or ignore their problems, but they don't trash the good things thoughtlessly either. And there lies the message of the film, so go out and see it and enjoy it. Go for a run, an evening walk, sit by the sea or like in my case, just get over yourself and write! Yes the Mantall the Bouys.. Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara...

Stupid...

You know how we say, 'It is too good to be true?' How when something so wonderful happens that we can't help but thank our stars and feel so overwhelmed that we have to utter with joy: Oh, you are too good to be true!

But do you know what the actual, original phrase is? It's, "If it's too good to be true, then it probably is." I don't know why we take out the last half of the quote. We choose to focus on the half truth and not face the reality.
Like she did.
Perhaps, she didn't get the memo - she didn't realize that when someone is too good to be true, he probably isn't. she is a stupid girl who believed it when he said he loved her. She was the stupid girl who didn't see the heinousness behind those cute eyes she adored. She gave in, she fell hard, and was trapped in his spell that she couldn't look beyond him. She couldn't see what he was doing to her. She couldn't decipher his plan. She couldn't see how he would use the doll that she was and then throw her out in search of another prettier one. Perhaps because he liked blond dolls and she is dark haired. Perhaps because it was all a game for him - her emotions, her life, was nothing but a game to boast in front of others. Perhaps he thought that somehow he would be more of a man if he could conquer her. Perhaps because he always thought she was stupid while telling her how smart he was. Perhaps, because she really is stupid.

If it is too good to be true, dear readers, it really is. Always, always remember that.

a night.. with you...

There were few times - very few - when he held her in the darkness after she woke up from a nightmare. But when he did, it wasn't as if the fear would leave her. It never made the darkness go away either. Her demons were still out there. The nightmares were still walking..
When he held her, she did not feel safe, but she felt better. "It's all right," he'd whisper in her ear. "I'm here with you. I love you," and then he'd go on to lie: "I'll never leave you."

Then, just for a moment or two, the darkness didn't seem so bad.

a night to remember
like a prayer that has no answer
a night so romantic
a night that makes me sick

A night full of love
a night full of butterfly
a night full of caress
a night full of kiss
a night of bliss

a night for indulgence
a intimate and an awesome ambiance
a night of touch
a night to remember...
A night with you.

२ कप्पे...

म्हणतात नं..
हृदयाचे २ कप्पे असतात..
एक.. रक्त पुरवठा वगैरे कामं करण्यासाठी...
आणि दुसरा.. प्रेम करण्यासाठी..
..
एक.. कधी रडण्यासाठी..
आणि दुसरा.. कधी प्रेमाचा सुगंध पसरवण्यासाठी..
..
एक.. आकाशाएवढा विशाल..
दुसरा.. धरणीसारखा.. शांत.. शीतल.. कणखर..
..
एक.. गारवा देणारा..
दुसरा.. प्रेमाची उब देणारा..
..
एक.. अज्ञात हळूवार लाट..
दुसरा.. मऊशार वाळूचा काठ..
..
एक.. सुरेख बांधणीचं पुस्तक..
दुसरा.. एक हवंहवंसं मृगजळ...
..
एक.. टवटवीत फुलांचा ताटवा..
दुसरा.. एक चमचमता काजवा..
..
एक.. जुनी न भरलेली जखम...
दुसरा.. नुकताच झालेला एक घाव..
..

या जखमांना हात नसतो लावायचा..
खपली पडायची भीती असते...
पण हो..
जिच्याकडे माझं हृदय आहे,
तिच्याकडेच आहे सगळं..
स्वप्नं.. इच्छा.. आकांक्षा.. आशा..
आणि आमच्या सुखाच्या दालनाच्या किल्ल्या..
कायमच्या..



love you!

-omi

ती.. एक राजकन्या...

एक सुंदर रात्र... चंद्राळलेली..
तेव्हा दिसली ती..

ती.. एक राजकन्या...
हसतमुख.. चेहेऱ्यावर तेज..
पाहताक्षणीच आवडली..
डोळ्यातून अलगद काळजात उतरली..
पापण्यांच्या दारातून.. हलकेच..
देवाकडे एकच मागणं..
ती मला मिळू दे..
आणि तिचीही हीच इच्छा असू दे..

ती.. एक राजकन्या...
वातावरण भारून जातं तिच्या येण्यानी..
मातीचा सुगंध दरवळतो..
आभाळ निळाशार होतं..
आसमंत जादुई गुलाबी होतं...
खात्री आहे मला..
मी अशी व्यक्ती कधी बघितली नव्हती..

पुन्हा तीच इच्छा..
ती मला मिळू दे..
आणि तिचीही हीच इच्छा असू दे..

स्वप्नांचं एक घर बांधू..
आणि त्याच्या भिंती आपल्या प्रेमानीच रंगवू..
दिवस असतील प्रेमाचे..
रात्री असतील दवबिंदूसारख्या सुंदर..

असं खुलेल प्रेम जसा की एक चंद्र..
ताऱ्यांच्या मांदियाळीतला..

एकच मागणं..
मला ती मिळू दे..
आणि तिचीही हीच इच्छा असू दे..



love you dear.. a lot..


-omi

change.. it happens...

Every time you leave someone behind or they decide to quit on you, things don't remain the same. There's always a change - sometimes a major change or sometimes just a minor one which you brush off.
Whether you miss these people from your life or not, they change you in a certain way and then they come back to you in pieces, years after they are gone.
Some come in dreams, others come in places, a few in songs here and there, and many on occasions and festivals.

Here is the interesting thing about life:
It kicks you down, in fact it kicks you while you are down. It brutally bashes you and breaks your bones - one at a time - so that you do not miss out on the pain. Life is not a disaster, it is a slow torture. But just when you think that you cannot go on any longer, and life is convinced that you have given up, it brings you flowers and tend to your wounds and helps you get up on your feet only to knock you down some other time. At the end of it all, it is such a humbling experience.

and I love my life.. it teaches us to get up and fight! \m/ :)



-omi

just.. a random thought...

Living in the city has its own charms. You get to see so many interesting aspects of life, and you don't even have to go out of the way to witness it. You just have to pay attention. Every day people have different expressions on their faces. Every day, they are having a day that's different from all the others, and so are you. Some days you just want to kill yourself while others make you feel alive like you have never been before. Every evening when you get out of work with so many others, you can tell how many people walking with you have a home to go to and how many don’t, and if you look closely you can tell which ones had a good day and who had a terrible one.

And on some footpaths nearby a garden, you see the most interesting things - especially in the mornings. Sometimes you hear them - like when someone is snoring, or when they are having a romantic conversation on the phone and they are trying to be discreet about it, Or when two friends are sitting together chit-chatting about meaningless stuff.

But my favorite has always been this one person - a man or a woman - on the bus in the mornings lost in their own little world. They smile to themselves from time to time. They look out the window, smile again a little, feel some fresh air, and will look around to see if anyone noticed. They are looking around, sometimes they stare right at me, but they don’t see me because they are actually not here. They are where they were the night before. Their puffy eyes show that they did not get enough sleep but that doesn't seem to bother them as much and the subtle smile on their faces will tell you that they will do it all over again if they had a chance - that sleep deprivation is the least of their worries. The light in their puffy eyes is so incredible as if the world looks so different to them, as if it is all new and they have a hard time believing it.

For months, I have been observing that. There is always this person in the bus I find in the mornings.
I smile and wonder about their yesterdays.

This morning, that person in the bus, was me.

Happy Monsoon.... :)

The soft showers, the cold breeze and the tingling music of the droplets coupled with the enchanting chirp of the birds would want nothing but your lover beside you. The picturesque event on a date with your love can be made more romantic and cherished for life. Here are some romantic tips for several monsoon dates.

Long Drive On the Bike:
before you hit the rainy streets, wrap yourself with raincoats, if you don't want to sneeze for a whole week. However if you think, it's just unromantic idea to zoom with raincoats then leave it at home.. but, make sure to warm yourself as soon as you return from the romantic trip. While speeding far away from the city, stop at places with a picturesque scenery to exchange a warm kiss or just to splash rain water. The warmest thing to do would be to recite some romantic lines in your lover's arm or to sing some sizzling number together to enhance the love flame.

Long Drive In the Car:
The rain drops may be just barred to reach you, but not the warmth of love. Buzz the empty streets with a soft music on the background to lighten the whole event. Park the car on a scenic area, while the rain still drizzles on your roof... and you know what to do next. ;) The experience of a long drive is still warmer when you are out in the rain early in the morning.

Candlelight dinner in Balcony:
Candle light dinner in the balcony with add-ons like soft music and wine is just apt to hype the romance back in life. As the world gets drenched in water and snuggles inside the blanket fearing the great thunder and lightning, you swift to the warm banquet of just two to add spice to your love story. Let the dinner be a surprise to your partner. Send a cozy invitation with a flower bouquet.
for gals:
Dress yourself with a theme based line, or just be there with sexy outwear and dress the whole arena with magical fragrance.
for guys:
Pick your love from office and splurge on a party with an addition slow dancing evening and let the soft showers do the musical.

A silent walk on the watered street:
Try this, go for a walk, sharing a single umbrella. The base rule for the evening walk is none of you will speak a word, until you return back to shelter. Experience thousands of innocent love expressions that will go bang! with a great spice up energy.

Gobble spicy food on the street:
Steaming street food that may vary form hot chats to anything that may bring warmth to the chilled evening often leads to friendly, playful bonding.

Play an outdoor game on the Terrace!!:
Play an outdoor game in the rain like football or basketball. If that game seems to be an alien sports then go for any sports that will have both of you glued together till the game ends. Rediscover your childhood with a gala teaming spirit.

Watch them drop down from heaven:
If the above seems to be too adventurous then just follow the golden rule. Snuggle indoor during a thunderstorm. Grab a hot chocolate or any spicy meal and get settle down in front of the window or balcony, to watch the little droplets drop down from heaven. Spend time cuddling each other in a single warm shawl as the soft music plays at the background. Make sure to keep all the interruptions like phone calls at bay.

So as the clouds darken with a message of love shower today make sure to follow these tips to spice up love relationships. Happy monsoon dating!!!

I just wish to tell her:

While speeding far away from the city, lets stop at places with picturesque scenery to exchange a warm kiss...



PS : Vote of Thanks : Kerala Tourism Department : for a wonderful click! :)