Monday, May 23, 2011

Long Distance Relationship...

As you’re all probably aware, In a long distance relationship (LDR); It’s at about this point when I hear a rousing chorus of “WHY?!” from those who are reading.
Well, it’s something I’ve been asking myself and something everyone who is apart from their significant other should ask themselves. But let’s backtrack to how it all begun. It can be summed up in one word. Cliché. Need I say more? It just clicked. Anyway things happened quickly, you tend to speed things up when you’re dealing with a lack of time. One minute we were saying that it was just a fling and we should say goodbye, next moment we were checking out the best calling plan because we’d decided we wanted to see what would happen.
Basically, we didn’t want it to end. But we knew we’d have to do the distance thing.
We didn’t plan anything, we just figured it out as we went along. For those who have been in this situation, you know what I mean when I say it’s hard.
It’s really hard.
Sometime the phone just doesn’t connect, some days all you want is a hug from your partner and you can’t have it. They say that communication is the basis of any good relationship, well in a LDR ( read : Long Distance Relationship ) it is a necessity. Without that, you can have nothing. You need to be honest and open, and for someone who isn’t great at expressing, it’s a challenge. If anyone had any trust issues when they started this, they all had to go. Of course you have to feel strongly about the person you’re in a LDR with but without trust then you shouldn’t bother. You will never know who they’re out with or what they’re doing, even for the most self-assured person it would be tough.
Trust and honesty, both necessary, but two of the hardest things to have. Strangely enough, the hardest thing for me to have to deal with has been the reaction from other people. I’m sure they don’t mean to be anything less than supportive but when you’re constantly being told that it’ll be hard and that it’ll never last, it makes everything a little more difficult.
I already know that it’s hard, it’s one that’s involved but it’s not something one have gone into lightly. Everyone has an opinion when it comes to this and everyone thinks their answer is the right one. What I’ve discovered is that we have had to figure out what’s right for us, without listening to everybody else’s doubt. For me, what it comes down to is that I’ve met someone who can deal with my interesting ways. She just happend to live in some other place. All relationships have issues that need to be dealt to and this is ours. We did the phone and email, our phone bills were huge but the way I see it is, if she was here we’d be going out a lot so we’re probably saving money. We talked so often that we probably knew each other better than a lot of other couples who have been together for the same amount of time. The best thing was that she was coming back. It was important for me to know that there was more to her decision than just us, I can’t be the only reason for her turning her life upside down. She is already got a great group of friends here, so when she does get back, things can be normal. I never thought I’d want a normal, everyday relationship and that’s the beauty of distance. You can find out what you both want, you’ve got time to get to know each other without all the other crap that comes with the beginning part of a relationship. The distance has made me appreciate what we have so when she came, I knew I won’t take it for granted..

दूरियाँ भी है जरुरी....


i really miss u dear.... badly...

4 comments:

  1. noone thinks of a sister staying faar away from her brother..
    no1 thinks of a son fyting for his country and staying faar away from his father..
    no1 thinks of a daughter who goes away from her parents,her family,her very own home aftr mrg.,
    its all about lovers and their relationship.. ALWAYS! why is that so? is that the only relation to be kept in our heart? is that the only thing to be written? why dnt anybdy write for distnced relatives? why not sacrify one singl post for a father missing his newborn and wife and wanting to meet them but cud nt make it as he has to stay on border for his country?

    no hard feelings dadu,, just felt like taking it out :*
    Love!

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  2. @snehanka : pillu, i really appreciate the way you have put it.. i can surely understand and really would love to post about it some day. :)

    thanks for the idea! ;)

    loads of love.. :*

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  3. hey... here r few line i would like to add about LDR..

    How to handle long distance arguments

    It’s going to happen eventually if you haven’t had an argument already. Having an
    argument long distance is not easy. There are certain things you should and should not do in an argument.
    - Don’t hang up the phone. As tempting as it might
    be, this is the worst thing you could possibly do. It is
    disrespectful and in my opinion no one deserves it.
    Try to stick it out. Make a promise to each other that
    you will not hang up the phone.
    - Don’t interrupt. Take turns explaining your points, and hear the other person
    out.
    - Actually listen to what they are saying and don’t think about why they are
    wrong or prepare how you are going to argue what they are saying, just listen.
    Don’t dismiss their points even if you think they are downright wrong. Show
    them some respect, if you want respect in return.
    - Tell them how you feel not what they did. Say how they made you feel. For
    example, “I feel like I’m low priority in your busy life.” Instead of, “You make
    hanging out with me a lower priority than hanging out with your friends.” The
    difference? Using the second sentence is going to make them feel defensive and
    they are only going to argue with you. Telling them how it makes you feel will be
    a lot more effective.
    - Try to find a compromise. Agree on something you’re both comfortable with
    even if it means not getting exactly what either of you want. It’s better than not
    getting what you want at all.
    - Don’t use the cold shoulder technique. This is just as bad as hanging up.
    Giving someone the cold shoulder (aka. not speaking to them) is only going to
    make things worse. You’re not going to get any happier, and they aren’t either.
    And it’s not going to make them come crawling to you for forgiveness and give
    you what you want (the usual motive, whether the person doing the ignoring will
    admit to that or not). Just don’t do it.
    - Don’t put off conflict. Handle the issue ASAP. Get it over and done with. The
    longer it lingers, the longer it will be affecting your relationship in a negative way.
    - Don’t create an argument. Sometimes people will get frustrated with the
    distance and make a big deal about something small that probably wouldn’t
    usually bother them. Avoid creating an argument in the first place and you’ll save yourself a lot trouble. If you are frustrated with the distance, talk about it
    with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Venting about what you’re really upset with is
    better than getting into a heated argument about something unrelated.
    - Avoid having an argument online. If you start to argue, it is better to talk it
    out, instead of instant messaging. The last thing you need is to be
    misinterpreted.

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  4. i am pretty messed up in my LDR... dont know what to do!!! just wanted to share few mistake i did...

    ReplyDelete