he wants..

He wants to insist on taking her back to a simpler life...

A life where you turned the radio on in the morning and not the iPad, life where you brewed coffee and stuck around long enough to feel its aroma spread through the house, where you take a moment to feel the weight of the warm blanket on you, and appreciate the soft sheets and the hard pillows. Open the window and smell the trees - not the flowers but the trees. Name every creature, alive or inanimate, because they all deserve some identity.

He wants to make sure that she takes naps especially when her brain was in overdrive. 

He wants her  to spend no less than an hour at the bookstore even if she has no intention of buying anything. 

He wants to show her how to keep her face close to the cup and blow on the hot tea so she can feel the heavenly warmth on her face. 

They want to practice, and continue to practice patience - they should started small - waiting for the water to get warm, patiently watching the YouTube video to load, waiting for the coffee to cool down enough so it doesn't burn the tongue, slowing down at the yellow light instead of speeding up, keeping the phone away for a few minutes and laying down to stare at the ceiling. 

He wants to insist on "giving" - be it to her, to a friend, or to someone in need. 'coz he needs to be a better person to make her happier! and to make the lives simpler!

He wants to show her the joys of being sung a lullaby as she drifts off to sleep, and the importance of sleeping - to shut it out, to let it go, to allow your body to be at peace even if only for half an hour.

He wants her to control her anger, to let someone else win for a change. 

Over the years, he wants her realize that everyone is a flawed person. 

The realization should not make anyone sad or angry. It makes us humble. 

He wants her to realize that people make mistakes - that she has made mistakes, even he has made blunders and the world hasn't come to an end. 

The world doesn't come to an end for anyone. He wants succeed in making her a better person, a simpler person, a happier person, and make her life full of nice things!

He wants their life uncluttered by things - mind free - all the junk is cleaned out. He wants them to live in moment that live out the things they buy and the things they get worked up about. He wants to make her feel like a little girl learning it all over again. 

and ultimately he wants her to know she has so much space and so much peace inside her..

Be Brave!

There are people who couldn't deal with the idea of a modern woman living her life independent and traveling late around the city. So they raped her - beat her - in a rapid moving bus in the nation's capital and then threw her out on the street to die. And with that - they have raped India and left its dignity naked on the street. They were six of them against her - all of 23 years of age. Practically a baby with the world yet to be discovered. The way India and each Indian failed this girl is utterly reprehensible and marks a moment of deepest shame for the nation.

In few weeks that followed the incident, I watched the social dialogue focused on the lack of law and order and on the demands of death penalty for the accused. India's politicians (including women!) ever representative of the pathetic state of the Indian government, came out saying ridiculously sexist and insensitive comments. In some instances even equating every rape victim to be a prostitute.

A few days back - that poor girl took her last breaths and has now left a nation of questions - of confusion - of anger and hurt and of a very uncertain future. Like most of India's intractable problems - the issue of injustice against women is systemic, its root causes embedded deep in the Indian culture.  And unfortunately like most times of tragedy, the dialogue has been about symptoms rather than the disease.

Yet another group of citizens have vociferously expressed despair. Statements of "nothing will ever change" have been written and heard in different hues all across social media and in discussions. Little do these people realize that accepting "Nothing will change" makes it a self fulfilling prophecy.

NO!  This is not a time to despair and lose hope. This is a time - if there ever was one - to fight! This is a time for each Indian to sit alone in a room and delve deep into his soul. And to confront his weaknesses. If you are a man - think about each time you have been unfair or uncourteous to a woman - learn to accept it - take responsibility for it - truly apologize for it,  and take steps to mend it.

If you are a woman - think about each time you have been ill-treated - or led to believe you are lesser than a man - but instead of fighting this lie you relented and kept quiet - think about each chance you have had to challenge this ridiculous notion and missed. This is not a time to despair. This is a time for Courage. Courage to face your flaws - Courage to do what is hard - Courage to stand up for those who can't for themselves.

The six wretched, depraved animals who robbed 'Amanat' of her dignity and forever stole her chance at a happy and successful life - do not deserve to live. But they do not deserve to die either - death in these circumstances is too merciful. These men should be sentenced not just to life-imprisonment - but a lifelong of solitary confinement. They should be kept under strictly regulated conditions - in a tall white room with smooth walls and bright lights - where there is nothing but the sound of their own voice - all day - all night - 24 hours each long day - 7 days each miserable week - until the end of their lives. Locked in a prison where nothing ever changes - no sound ever creeps in - no one offers death - or company or utters a single word - a prison with no windows - no features - utterly and absolutely nothing to spare them from the company of their thoughts and from the repent of their actions.  They should be given proper food and nourishment just to make them live another day. They should be prevented from taking  their own lives. They should be forever locked in a white box they try to escape - try and fail - try and fail all over again - every single day. May be - may be  - just may be - that will begin to atone for the barbaric acts they have committed.

And yet what does that do to mend your soul ? What does that do to bring 'Amanat' back and what does it do to stop that burning, excruciating pain you are feeling in your heart .. nothing. And so we have to rise and pick ourselves up and pledge to do everything we can to ensure no woman in India is ever treated this way again.  You may not succeed this week, this year or even in your lifetime - but when you get to the end, you should be able to hold your head high and say you fought with all you could.

If you want her death to mean something - you have to change the way you live and what you accept as normal - for the rest of your lives. If you are a man, call and talk to every significant woman in your life. And promise her to be better, kinder, and more courteous and to protect her against all dangers.  If you want her death not to be in vain, then - learn to accept your mistakes and pledge never to repeat them again. If you are truly a son of India - then take heart - for you were born in the land of Shri Ram - of Marayada Purushottam (मर्यादा पुरुषोत्तम) himself - and in your blood you have the strength to be righteous. If you are truly a Man, then promise yourself to stand up for the women in your life - against anyone - anything - no matter what the outcome.

If you are a woman - then remind yourself each day - that no one - NO ONE can ever rob you of your dignity. Remind yourself that 'Amanat' died because she fought back - against all odds and no hope of escape - she stood up for what she believed in - and though she may have died - she died fighting.  You swear with every red cell in your blood to fight injustice. Swear to stop at every instance you are wrongly treated as less than a man - and turn and fight this insidious lie.  Take a pepper spray - take self defense lessons - carry a rock or carry a blade - but you make sure you can hurt any man who ever tries to take advantage of you.  Swear to yourself to be fearless and to hit back at anyone who thinks you are vulnerable. If you ever get in a tough spot - take the name of 'Amanat' and drive your knee so far and so hard up his balls - that he no longer remains a man.

Stand India!! For this is the time for courage. This is the time to be brave!

change.. it happens...

Every time you leave someone behind or they decide to quit on you, things don't remain the same. There's always a change - sometimes a major change or sometimes just a minor one which you brush off.
Whether you miss these people from your life or not, they change you in a certain way and then they come back to you in pieces, years after they are gone.
Some come in dreams, others come in places, a few in songs here and there, and many on occasions and festivals.

Here is the interesting thing about life:
It kicks you down, in fact it kicks you while you are down. It brutally bashes you and breaks your bones - one at a time - so that you do not miss out on the pain. Life is not a disaster, it is a slow torture. But just when you think that you cannot go on any longer, and life is convinced that you have given up, it brings you flowers and tend to your wounds and helps you get up on your feet only to knock you down some other time. At the end of it all, it is such a humbling experience.

and I love my life.. it teaches us to get up and fight! \m/ :)



-omi

just.. a random thought...

Living in the city has its own charms. You get to see so many interesting aspects of life, and you don't even have to go out of the way to witness it. You just have to pay attention. Every day people have different expressions on their faces. Every day, they are having a day that's different from all the others, and so are you. Some days you just want to kill yourself while others make you feel alive like you have never been before. Every evening when you get out of work with so many others, you can tell how many people walking with you have a home to go to and how many don’t, and if you look closely you can tell which ones had a good day and who had a terrible one.

And on some footpaths nearby a garden, you see the most interesting things - especially in the mornings. Sometimes you hear them - like when someone is snoring, or when they are having a romantic conversation on the phone and they are trying to be discreet about it, Or when two friends are sitting together chit-chatting about meaningless stuff.

But my favorite has always been this one person - a man or a woman - on the bus in the mornings lost in their own little world. They smile to themselves from time to time. They look out the window, smile again a little, feel some fresh air, and will look around to see if anyone noticed. They are looking around, sometimes they stare right at me, but they don’t see me because they are actually not here. They are where they were the night before. Their puffy eyes show that they did not get enough sleep but that doesn't seem to bother them as much and the subtle smile on their faces will tell you that they will do it all over again if they had a chance - that sleep deprivation is the least of their worries. The light in their puffy eyes is so incredible as if the world looks so different to them, as if it is all new and they have a hard time believing it.

For months, I have been observing that. There is always this person in the bus I find in the mornings.
I smile and wonder about their yesterdays.

This morning, that person in the bus, was me.

Retrospect

Believe me, dear readers, please believe me when I say this: sometimes we really are running after the wrong things - chasing the wrong men and women totally convinced that they are the right ones for us. No matter what they say, or how they try to assure us otherwise, we still believe that what we are doing is right. Believe me when I say that we are stubborn and this stubbornness is the cause of our demise.

It is so hard to let go off our control. We think we know what is right. We think that the people we are running after are the people we are meant to be with - that there is nothing better than them. Its so extremely difficult to let go of that control, and be patient with life, believe in a higher power and let the universe decide once in a while.

I am guilty of all of this. I think I know what’s best for me. I think I know the people I want to associate myself with. I think I know who I should be romantically involved with and who I shouldn’t.
.
.
.
.
.
But the truth is, I have very limited knowledge of all of these things.

I kept running after the wrong women, when the right one was there all along, and I almost screwed it up. I was so convinced that I wouldn't be happier with any other woman than the one I was chasing. I was so sure of myself, until I crashed. The biggest challenge in life is to let go. Its when you let go, you are able to see what the universe has in store for us. We don’t even give the universe a chance - because we think we have it all figured out. Total bullshit.

Please look around you.
Please look and see the people who are looking at you.
Please don’t be so convinced that you know what is right.
Believe.
Have faith.
Give people a chance.
Don’t make the mistake I made.
Please.
You deserve to be happy.

:)


inspired from the new DoCoMo ad :

Keep it simple! Silly! ;)

Men are from Earth and Women too

Ok, I am no advice columnist, neither a psychologist nor specialized in any way in either men’s or women's psychology.
I am just another man who has his opinions.

They say, men and women always end up on the opposite ends.
Women complain about how insensitive and "gross" and "lame" men are and men whine about the cry-babies women can turn into.
Granted, there are differences but we have to learn to live with them, right?

Lets start with relationships.
Men are committed. Period.
If a man is committed to a woman once probably he will remain committed to the "same woman" for the rest of his life. But the problem is that women don’t really know when the man is really committed. Sometimes women "think" men are serious about the relationship but they are not and then they "cheat" on the women.

folks, see... its all about perception!!

Ok, now consider this:
When a relationship ends, a woman will cry and pour her heart out to her girl-friends, ( not girlfrnds, ideally :P ) and she will write a poem titled.. ummm...yeah, something like - "All Men Are Idiots".
Then she will get on with her life.

A man has a little more trouble letting go. Six months after the break-up, at 3:00 a.m. on a Saturday night, he will call and say, "I just wanted to let you know you ruined my life, and I’ll never forgive you, and I hate you, and you’re a total floozy. But I want you to know there’s always a chance for us".

men will always be men.. why the hell we feel "Unsecured"; we don't know..

Another thing women need to understand and tolerate is that men are big kids ( Com’ on guys, accept it! we actually are. ) Deep down, all men are big ol' boys. ( This explains why so many grown men wear baseball caps. ) Their interests are boy-like, too. Take his obsession with sports. Most men love anything that involves kicking something, throwing things or punching other men. ( Yeah, the punching other men n saying "wassup buddy??" IS very "manly"!!! ) Sounds like 10-year-olds on the playground to you? Does to most of the women.

For girls, women:
When you put three or more men together, they bond by yelling at the TV and being idiots to each other. Regressing into childlike behavior isn't just a means of amusing themselves — it's their way of escaping real-life pressures and feeling accepted as they are. There's no point in denying guys time to release their juvenile side. And hey, at least they're doing it during boys' night out and not in front of your friends or family!

Another thing I have learnt from my day to day life is that men don’t take hints. ( Men are mad.. take it from me.. If a girl likes a guy, guy will never get to know about her feelings.. he will always think that the "Friendship" button is ON. ) Whether its his friend, wife, girlfriend or sister, he just doesn’t.

I think it is because when men are with other men, they don't tiptoe around each other and drop subtle suggestions. That's because hints don't register with guys.

Women pride themselves on being able to know intuitively what their friends, husbands and kids are thinking, but men have no interest in reading minds.

Strategy learnt from men: "If you don't ask, you don't get." Pretty simple! :P

In relationships, A woman doesn't expect a guy to know exactly what she wants — and whenever she does, she is "surely" disappointed. If, for example, a woman wants him to take her out for her birthday, she is wasting her time dropping hints like "Guess what day Friday is? It's someone's birthday!" If she does that, she'll be 80 before he takes her out. And while she is at it, don't hint about wanting a gift that's shiny and lasts forever: To him, she has just described a set of Emeril pots and pans.
But, if she do asks, clearly, chances are she will get it.
Be it an expensive ring or a loving kiss or a warm hug, she should not hesitate to ask them for it.

Coming down to a more domestic level, women should all know that men don’t do their laundry until they are out of clean clothes. If this happens before then that means someone else is doing their laundry for them.
Sometimes, their dirty laundry even comes in several categories:
1. Looks fine/smells fine,
2. Looks fine/smells bad,
3. Looks dirty/smells fine.

Unless you intend to wash it, do not try to disrupt piles organized in this manner.

A couple more things to keep in mind:
For girls, women:
1. Don’t make him hold your purse in the mall. It does something to his manhood. Just spare him the misery.
2. Shopping is not fascinating. Ever.
3. If he has to sit through :
“Notting Hill ( 1999, Starring : Julia Roberts, Hugh Grants, Genre : Comedy | Romance )”,
you have to sit through :
“Die Hard((Series) Starring : Bruce Willis, Genre : Action | Crime | Thriller )" .
4. If you truly want honesty, don’t ask questions you don’t really want them answer to.
5. He was not looking at that other girl. Well, okay… maybe a little. Okay, so what! He was looking at her. Big deal. Like you never looked at another guy…
6. Any sort of injury involving the testicles is not funny. Seriously.
7. Any attempt by a man to prepare food, no matter how feeble (i.e.: Microwaving a burrito, fixing Spaghetti, etc) should be met with roughly the same degree of praise a parent might shower upon their infant when it walks for the first time.
8. But in the end, remember that men are human. We all are. We are unique and we have our own individuality. You will not go anywhere in understanding someone if you keep on putting them in one stereotypical category or another.

Good luck Ladies! :)

Regret..

A promise I was asked
And a promise I did make
It changed things a lot
And many decisions I was to take

Would I make the same promise?
Or will I refrain?
Will I do it the same and just the same
Do it all, All over again?


The struggles I do accept
And the pain I do agree
Its the price I paid
For my soul to breathe free

If love is the cost of freedom
Then so it shall be
No one shall rob it, Nor shall one protect
My freedom was my own
And mine alone to defend

Would I make the same choice?
Or will I refrain?
Will I do it the same and just the same
Do it all, All over again?


There were mistakes, there had to be
Success was sweet
But it was failure that taught
That the ones to forge a character
Are the falls not caught

I trusted and was betrayed
It led me to conflict - led me to strife
I loved and was burnt
It unknowingly shaped - the contours of my life

Would I make the same choice?
Or will I refrain?
Will I do it the same and just the same
Do it all, All over again?


I think I will, for it was worth it
For one smile of her eyes Or one kiss of her lips
I would happily take eternal agony
For a touch of her hair on my fingertips

I think I will, for it was worth it
For a fair lady once asked of a little boy
Promise me will you, That you will
"Listen to what your heart says
And have the courage to follow it"
And I had promised
"Yes, my lady - I will"

The Opposites...

He tells her she is heartless. He begs. He wants her to be with him.

His interactions with her range from accusing her of everything that is wrong with his life to how much he cannot even live a day without her. He tells her that he needs her and wants her to no end, that she should give him a chance to make her happy.

There are days when he tries to impress her. He tells her how wonderfully perfect she is and how much she makes his life better. And then there are days when he cannot stop criticizing the same “wonderfully perfect” person. She listens to him. Perhaps, she shouldn’t but she has learned to be patient… and also be indifferent.

She knows that he wants her but she knows he does not "love" her...
(Ummm... there is a glitch actually.. :| He or she.. does not know if this is LOVE! )
There is a difference between loving a person and loving the idea of a person.
She knows that at the end of it all, She is replaceable. She is a wonderful idea, but that is all she is. She knows she will not amount to anything more.

Right now she is the best and the worst person—
*best : for being ‘wonderfully perfect’
and
*worst : for not reciprocating his emotions.

But she knows that he will *love* her until he finds someone else.

and this is her *Assumption*!!!!

Can you blame her? Or even him????