Love time!

While writing this I already have hit the sack but feeling insomniac.
Just a few thoughts about the Valentine's Day..

The last time I checked, this was supposed to be a day to celebrate love. Not a day that would make us feel lonely, and sad, and sometimes just desperate. We all feel lost sometimes but it almost seems like this day is now designed to make us feel more lost. If romantic love has entered your life, that's wonderful. Try to take out some time today and acknowledge it. If love has not swept you off your feet yet, it will come to you when it is ready. You can't find love, love will have to find you, and it will. Your only job is to make sure you let it in when it does find you. Its when you are not expecting it that it will hit you hardest — and isn't that what makes life so tragically wonderful?

Until then, trust that the universe knows what it is doing and focus on making yourself better for when love does come knocking at your door or bumping into you around the corner of a coffee shop. You must learn to be patient.

Just remember today that you are not alone, unless you choose to be, and deep down inside you, you already know that.

Madness...

Writing after a long time guys!!
Hope you like it!

She was desperate to find something, anything that would soothe her ache. She wanted to not feel the craziness of her heart. She wanted to forget and not want the things she couldn't have. She wanted to exchange her burned, scarred heart with a brand new one, and she was desperately hunting for the clean heart, for a fresh start.

When she met him, she knew. She knew it was the purest heart she could find, and she had to have it. She was so desperate to clean herself that she did not care if she dirtied him in the process. So the first opportunity she got, she pounced. She dug her nails in his skin, and ripped his chest out. And there it was, the most beautiful thing in the world, and she was about to have it. She was about to rid herself of all her crazy, and all the her madness. It was wonderful.

And yet, no matter what she did, she couldn't take it. He was smarter than she thought, he was better than she thought. She wanted a fix, and he wouldn't allow it. He actually loved her. It was almost cruel.

All she ever wanted was a man who would soothe her madness. That was the only way she knew. But he only burned it more, made her crazier. He was right: the cure was not to fix the crazy but to accept it. She wanted to forget. He made it okay for her to remember

Wish you a very Happy New Year!! God bless!

-omi

Be Brave!

There are people who couldn't deal with the idea of a modern woman living her life independent and traveling late around the city. So they raped her - beat her - in a rapid moving bus in the nation's capital and then threw her out on the street to die. And with that - they have raped India and left its dignity naked on the street. They were six of them against her - all of 23 years of age. Practically a baby with the world yet to be discovered. The way India and each Indian failed this girl is utterly reprehensible and marks a moment of deepest shame for the nation.

In few weeks that followed the incident, I watched the social dialogue focused on the lack of law and order and on the demands of death penalty for the accused. India's politicians (including women!) ever representative of the pathetic state of the Indian government, came out saying ridiculously sexist and insensitive comments. In some instances even equating every rape victim to be a prostitute.

A few days back - that poor girl took her last breaths and has now left a nation of questions - of confusion - of anger and hurt and of a very uncertain future. Like most of India's intractable problems - the issue of injustice against women is systemic, its root causes embedded deep in the Indian culture.  And unfortunately like most times of tragedy, the dialogue has been about symptoms rather than the disease.

Yet another group of citizens have vociferously expressed despair. Statements of "nothing will ever change" have been written and heard in different hues all across social media and in discussions. Little do these people realize that accepting "Nothing will change" makes it a self fulfilling prophecy.

NO!  This is not a time to despair and lose hope. This is a time - if there ever was one - to fight! This is a time for each Indian to sit alone in a room and delve deep into his soul. And to confront his weaknesses. If you are a man - think about each time you have been unfair or uncourteous to a woman - learn to accept it - take responsibility for it - truly apologize for it,  and take steps to mend it.

If you are a woman - think about each time you have been ill-treated - or led to believe you are lesser than a man - but instead of fighting this lie you relented and kept quiet - think about each chance you have had to challenge this ridiculous notion and missed. This is not a time to despair. This is a time for Courage. Courage to face your flaws - Courage to do what is hard - Courage to stand up for those who can't for themselves.

The six wretched, depraved animals who robbed 'Amanat' of her dignity and forever stole her chance at a happy and successful life - do not deserve to live. But they do not deserve to die either - death in these circumstances is too merciful. These men should be sentenced not just to life-imprisonment - but a lifelong of solitary confinement. They should be kept under strictly regulated conditions - in a tall white room with smooth walls and bright lights - where there is nothing but the sound of their own voice - all day - all night - 24 hours each long day - 7 days each miserable week - until the end of their lives. Locked in a prison where nothing ever changes - no sound ever creeps in - no one offers death - or company or utters a single word - a prison with no windows - no features - utterly and absolutely nothing to spare them from the company of their thoughts and from the repent of their actions.  They should be given proper food and nourishment just to make them live another day. They should be prevented from taking  their own lives. They should be forever locked in a white box they try to escape - try and fail - try and fail all over again - every single day. May be - may be  - just may be - that will begin to atone for the barbaric acts they have committed.

And yet what does that do to mend your soul ? What does that do to bring 'Amanat' back and what does it do to stop that burning, excruciating pain you are feeling in your heart .. nothing. And so we have to rise and pick ourselves up and pledge to do everything we can to ensure no woman in India is ever treated this way again.  You may not succeed this week, this year or even in your lifetime - but when you get to the end, you should be able to hold your head high and say you fought with all you could.

If you want her death to mean something - you have to change the way you live and what you accept as normal - for the rest of your lives. If you are a man, call and talk to every significant woman in your life. And promise her to be better, kinder, and more courteous and to protect her against all dangers.  If you want her death not to be in vain, then - learn to accept your mistakes and pledge never to repeat them again. If you are truly a son of India - then take heart - for you were born in the land of Shri Ram - of Marayada Purushottam (मर्यादा पुरुषोत्तम) himself - and in your blood you have the strength to be righteous. If you are truly a Man, then promise yourself to stand up for the women in your life - against anyone - anything - no matter what the outcome.

If you are a woman - then remind yourself each day - that no one - NO ONE can ever rob you of your dignity. Remind yourself that 'Amanat' died because she fought back - against all odds and no hope of escape - she stood up for what she believed in - and though she may have died - she died fighting.  You swear with every red cell in your blood to fight injustice. Swear to stop at every instance you are wrongly treated as less than a man - and turn and fight this insidious lie.  Take a pepper spray - take self defense lessons - carry a rock or carry a blade - but you make sure you can hurt any man who ever tries to take advantage of you.  Swear to yourself to be fearless and to hit back at anyone who thinks you are vulnerable. If you ever get in a tough spot - take the name of 'Amanat' and drive your knee so far and so hard up his balls - that he no longer remains a man.

Stand India!! For this is the time for courage. This is the time to be brave!

ती.. एक राजकन्या...

एक सुंदर रात्र... चंद्राळलेली..
तेव्हा दिसली ती..

ती.. एक राजकन्या...
हसतमुख.. चेहेऱ्यावर तेज..
पाहताक्षणीच आवडली..
डोळ्यातून अलगद काळजात उतरली..
पापण्यांच्या दारातून.. हलकेच..
देवाकडे एकच मागणं..
ती मला मिळू दे..
आणि तिचीही हीच इच्छा असू दे..

ती.. एक राजकन्या...
वातावरण भारून जातं तिच्या येण्यानी..
मातीचा सुगंध दरवळतो..
आभाळ निळाशार होतं..
आसमंत जादुई गुलाबी होतं...
खात्री आहे मला..
मी अशी व्यक्ती कधी बघितली नव्हती..

पुन्हा तीच इच्छा..
ती मला मिळू दे..
आणि तिचीही हीच इच्छा असू दे..

स्वप्नांचं एक घर बांधू..
आणि त्याच्या भिंती आपल्या प्रेमानीच रंगवू..
दिवस असतील प्रेमाचे..
रात्री असतील दवबिंदूसारख्या सुंदर..

असं खुलेल प्रेम जसा की एक चंद्र..
ताऱ्यांच्या मांदियाळीतला..

एकच मागणं..
मला ती मिळू दे..
आणि तिचीही हीच इच्छा असू दे..



love you dear.. a lot..


-omi

Retrospect

Believe me, dear readers, please believe me when I say this: sometimes we really are running after the wrong things - chasing the wrong men and women totally convinced that they are the right ones for us. No matter what they say, or how they try to assure us otherwise, we still believe that what we are doing is right. Believe me when I say that we are stubborn and this stubbornness is the cause of our demise.

It is so hard to let go off our control. We think we know what is right. We think that the people we are running after are the people we are meant to be with - that there is nothing better than them. Its so extremely difficult to let go of that control, and be patient with life, believe in a higher power and let the universe decide once in a while.

I am guilty of all of this. I think I know what’s best for me. I think I know the people I want to associate myself with. I think I know who I should be romantically involved with and who I shouldn’t.
.
.
.
.
.
But the truth is, I have very limited knowledge of all of these things.

I kept running after the wrong women, when the right one was there all along, and I almost screwed it up. I was so convinced that I wouldn't be happier with any other woman than the one I was chasing. I was so sure of myself, until I crashed. The biggest challenge in life is to let go. Its when you let go, you are able to see what the universe has in store for us. We don’t even give the universe a chance - because we think we have it all figured out. Total bullshit.

Please look around you.
Please look and see the people who are looking at you.
Please don’t be so convinced that you know what is right.
Believe.
Have faith.
Give people a chance.
Don’t make the mistake I made.
Please.
You deserve to be happy.

:)


inspired from the new DoCoMo ad :

Keep it simple! Silly! ;)

I am Waiting...

I think that I am waiting. Waiting for someone - something - to happen. It is not as if I am waiting for someone to come and change my life drastically, or to be my savior, or fill a void in my heart. No, its none of these things because I know that I am capable of change, there is no need for saving and I am not haunted by any emptiness. It is not as if something is lacking or missing - my cup is full.

The truth is, I am always producing and hoarding more love inside me, but there is no release. I want it to flow now. I want that over whelming feeling of joy - that which I would not have to contain. But my cup is not brimming. It is as if I am there but I am not quite there yet. There's nothing worse than waiting and not knowing what'll happen to you. Your own imagination can be crueler than any captor.

Some Tough Choices...

"Its not the chance we take, but the choice we make that determine our destiny. Choose Carefully."

It’s starting all over again.

I am afraid that it is starting all over again.
You know, the stupid silly hi's... the good nights and the good mornings...
The un-ending, time-flying conversations...
The caring and sharing...
I am afraid it is starting all over again.

Usually, life gives us choices. I firmly believe that one almost always have a choice. Sometimes it is a limited choice, still we have a choice. Mostly, we make these choices consciously, sometimes unconsciously but we do make them—almost every day. Whatever comes our way, whatever battle we have raging inside us, we have a choice. It's the choices that make us who we are, and we can always choose to do what's right.

I am trying to make a choice—make it consciously. I wonder how to resist. I wonder if I should resist. Should we resist when life presents us an opportunity which could turn out either good or bad? I have never been afraid of risks. But at the same time I am not very comfortable with putting others at risk with me.

But, what do you do? What do you do when someone so adorable wants to hold your finger and walk a mile with you? What do you do when they trust you to lead the way? What do you do when they look up to you? Respect you for who you are?

There are cute people in your life that would stick with you for the rest of time if you let them. You take it a step further and they will love you for they think you are awesome. But the question is: Do you want to do that? Would you not feel selfish?

Do you want to show them the dark hole of your personality? Are you ready to expose the scars you have been carefully hiding for ages and ages now? Is it time yet? Is it time to trust?

My scars, the scars I carry are still fresh. Healing process is a slow one I suppose. I am afraid that the wounds will open. When is it time to trust someone with our scars? When the scars are totally healed or when they are healing?

I am afraid I will be happy again. I am afraid to feel the pain. Please don’t touch my scars, I say.

I am afraid I am falling for the sweet surrender.
I am afraid it is starting all over again.


-omi